Try those water icebocks in the tubes, wrap them in a chucks cloth and put them in your knickers. I used a squirty sauce bottle in the loo so as I peed you can squirt away. Also you can hold toilet paper over the stiches when you go to the toilet and after #2 just go straight to the shower and wash yourself rather than trying to wipe too much.
I didn't have the episiotomy, but what I've used since my grazing and when I have thrush (actually, only once since pg with DS!) was a purified lanolin, as well as Ural, or just loads of water (I know, seems counter productive, but really dilutes that stingy wee!). The lanolin acts like a barrier, but is natural and healing, unlike a petroleum based product like Vaseline.
Also, seconding the frozen tubes! You can use a condom filled with salted water (will freeze quicker, stay frozen longer), or there is a product you can buy from Mothers Direct for post-birth soothing
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