I didn't have the episiotomy, but what I've used since my grazing and when I have thrush (actually, only once since pg with DS!) was a purified lanolin, as well as Ural, or just loads of water (I know, seems counter productive, but really dilutes that stingy wee!). The lanolin acts like a barrier, but is natural and healing, unlike a petroleum based product like Vaseline.
Also, seconding the frozen tubes! You can use a condom filled with salted water (will freeze quicker, stay frozen longer), or there is a product you can buy from Mothers Direct for post-birth soothing