Fatigue or PND?

[Traveller]

I agree with what others have said and also I think it's important to remember that your ds is still very young and your hormones may still be taking a nose dive from birth. It can be very normal to feel low just now. That said, you do sound like you could benefit from some extra support like a lot of new mums. Have you told your maternal and child health nurse how you are feeling? She may be able to help you feel better. There is also a terrific organisation in perth called the Raphael centre http://www.sjog.org.au/other_service...e_subiaco.aspx that are specialists in pnd and you can self refer. Even just calling them for a chat might give you some idea if you need pnd support or not. Good luck and I hope you feel better soon.

[LuluHB]

The transition to motherhood is enormous so its pretty normal to have a rough start. I agree with the reflux thing and would just add you should keep your little man upright for at least 15 minutes after a feed and also give him deep baths.

Where abouts did you birth LN? St John's at Subiaco have great post birth programmes for new mums and I think they're open to everyone. Also the Raphael Centre is brilliant and offers group and one on one counselling.

Definitely eat, drink and sleep. If you (or your mum) makes a sandwich, make two. It takes no more time really and gives you a ready made snack. Get your DH to buy you some tasty ready made meals so all youi need to do is microwave. Try and get out in the fresh air. Its so important for your mental health.

Sit your DH down and explain how you feel. You need his support and just having him next to you can help, and he can take your DS once you've fed him for burping, cuddles and settling.

Pls let me know if you need some help, if your mum can't make it or something. I'm here if you just need to talk or have a cry. Has your CHN done her home visit yet? Talk to her about how you're feeling.

[Arcadia]

Normal! I also used to feel lonely in the night and Dh was right beside me. For me the loneliness was the fact I had to do the lions share myself ie I had the boobs!!

Try and tackle on thing at a time. Accept you and Dh will not be the same and there is time to work on that when ds is sleeping better. Accept your mums help!!! It won't be forever either.

I would feed ds more in the day and then at night feed every three hours and in between use a dummy or rock or pat or even just sit and watch tv. My ds was always awake from 4:30am and I just sat and watched tv (and prayed he'd go back to sleep before dd woke up!)

Go easy on yourself. Reflect on your mothering skills after a few years not a few weeks! It's ok to have L plates!!

[surprised]

Hugs Hun. Those early days are lovely but completely overwhelming. Sit your DH down and tell him how you're feeling, and be specific with things he can do to help you. Often the menfolk just need to know what exactly to do.

Eat during the night. I used to have a muesli bar while I was up at night feeding. Buy yourself some healthy prepackaged foods that you can just grab. And maybe take an iron supplement? I felt so much better after that.

Hang in there - you're doing a great job. And do get bugs checked for reflux - don't wait til the 6 week check xoxo

[Three Graces]

I totally can relate to how you're feeling. Our DS1 was a nightmare introduction to parenthood. He had reflux and screamed. A lot. Although it feels like forever, this newborn phase will eventually end. Babies have to get used to Day/Night which is the reverse of when they were in utero (ie getting rocked to sleep during the day and being active and kicking at night when you were still and trying to sleep). We just had our third bub this year and I was amazed at the 3 hrs of unsettled/screaming/crying every evening. WTF? I couldn't remember this with the previous two babies. This eventually too will subside.
You mention that you're worried how you will cope when your mum is no longer helping out so much, but hopefully by that point, things should settle a little for you all. Can you ask her to still help out as long as possible? Even if it's slowly reducing the amount of hands on help? As others have mentioned, eat, eat, sleep when the baby sleeps - it's like a marathon getting through the first few months and you are doing the best that you can.
I get frustrated with my bub and have to walk away and hand over to DH. Oh the things I have said to my kids over the years and the slamming of doors etc. It's amazing what a good night's sleep can do to your whole outlook and right now, it doesn't sound like you're getting enough sleep.

Here's a few practical strategies I can think of that might help:
* Re:feeling dizzy etc, try taking a liquid iron supplement - giving birth and then breastfeeding sucks up your iron levels and can take months to boost back up. Liquid iron is absorbed more quickly than tablets (just make sure you take it with orange juice or vitamin c tablet etc).
* As others have mentioned, check out local supports. I spent a week at sleep school with my first bub and it was the best thing I ever did. I gave me space and support to just focus on getting b/f nailed and recognising early tired cues, the feed/play/sleep cycle and when to get bub back to bed before they are overtired and it becomes impossible etc. All meals were provided, no housework, just me and bub time and Dh could stay over too after work, plus it normalized just how hard babies are and that other mums are feeling the same way.
* Re: feeding - if it's a real struggle, you can express a feed in advance (hard work if you're already stuffed) or ask your DH to do a night bottle to give you a break.
Infacol from the supermarket or chemist is good at helping get the wind up. You give it to them before a feed and I found the burping was much easier. Also maybe ask your MCHN for a few different ways of burping and use the one that works best.

Lastly, you are not useless or incompetent. You are learning a new job, that you've never done before, under really stressful conditions and the goal posts will change daily/weekly in the first month or more. You're in the hardest part, right now. It won't get much harder than this and if you're open to asking for support on BB, then I'd suggest asking for lots of other support around you. Our society does new mum/parenting, really badly, leaving new mums to figure it out on their own.
Talk to Dh about how you're feeling and tell him what you need him to do (most guys are good if you spell it out). We've had 3 kids and it was an understanding b/w us that it was tag teaming in the first few months. Other couples are different. I'd b/f, he would settle bubs.
Sorry for the thesis! I love to type. Anyway, no mum or dad is perfect. We all get frustrated and loose our cool (I've texted DH calling our DS a SLF. stupid little F) before. If you are concerned about your feelings and think it could be PND, definately speak to your MCHN or GP for more support. Take care of yourself,

[AndiE]

Normal! I also used to feel lonely in the night and Dh was right beside me. For me the loneliness was the fact I had to do the lions share myself ie I had the boobs!!

Try and tackle on thing at a time. Accept you and Dh will not be the same and there is time to work on that when ds is sleeping better. Accept your mums help!!! It won't be forever either.

I would feed ds more in the day and then at night feed every three hours and in between use a dummy or rock or pat or even just sit and watch tv. My ds was always awake from 4:30am and I just sat and watched tv (and prayed he'd go back to sleep before dd woke up!)

Go easy on yourself. Reflect on your mothering skills after a few years not a few weeks! It's ok to have L plates!!

Top post Arcadia - agree with eveything you've said.

The first few days/weeks are damn hard Lady Neon. Even those of us getting some sleep still feel very weary and strung out at times.
I can vouch for a meltdown moment or two where I swore black and blue at DS3 to "go the (insert numerous expletives) to sleep".

Hugs hun - you're doing well so cut yourself some slack xx