I didn't tear that way but I did get quite a few stitches. It felt really weird down there for ages, and for a few weeks I couldn't even feel the sensation to wee! It should get better with time, 9 weeks isn't that long so I would be allowing your body some more time to heal, it sounds like a fairly traumatic tear so it may take a while to repair itself properly (even though it may appear healed from the outside).

i think we first started DTD at about 6 weeks (I was a bit reluctant to start so early!) and for another couple of months I couldn't feel anything much...it just took a bit of time for the sensation to come back. Do lots of pelvic floor exercises, that helped me although I didn't do them as much or as regularly as I should have! If you are still concerned have a chat to your OB/GP.

ETA: I couldn't orgasm properly for a long time, probably about 5 or 6 months after DD was born, I could almost get to that point but just couldn't push myself over the edge iykwim. With time and practise it did get better