You're not alone. I had my little boy 20 months ago, and I have just had surgery to correct it. I did try creams etc first but nothing worked. It would tear every time.

One of the doctors told me to have another baby and let it tear again! I asked him if he knew how babies are made, don't know what he was thinking. Anyway, I asked to see someone else and she said this was really my only option. From what I understand the scar tissue is usually what is causing the problem.

I hope you can get it sorted out soon, I know exactly what you're going through!
Know what you mean re the scar tissue. I'm very aware of mine, I can feel it there (internal and external), but of course scar tissue has no nerve endings, so can't feel it being touched directly, again, internal or external. Last time DH tried something I just curled up and cried! I was bleeding and hurting - felt like a brand new episiotomy again!

REALLY don't want another Episiotomy this time around - as this one split open again @ 6 weeks post birth and was agonising! - but I seriously don't know how I'm going to get a baby out of there!