Finding it hard to believe

[Nelle]

Absolutely counselling. Hugs to your friend.

If there's anything I can do, see if I can find a decent church in her area, or reassure her not all Christians think that's acceptable, let me know. xo

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

I know we had a problem with it a few years back, with men in positions of authority abusing their power. It doesn't help the victims, but these days things are VERY strict in terms of sexual abuse - as in, even allowing yourself to be in the situation where you can be accused of wrongdoing will generally mean that man cannot hold a responsible position for many years, if ever.

Having said that, there are always going to be 'bad eggs' that seem to be able to cover themselves, but we have to trust that Jehovah will bring them to justice in His time.

If she is of the same denomination as me, I can give you some more detailed info that may help her, just PM me

[Jennifer13]

but these days things are VERY strict in terms of sexual abuse - as in, even allowing yourself to be in the situation where you can be accused of wrongdoing will generally mean that man cannot hold a responsible position for many years, if ever.

Not holding a position of responsibility doesn't sound like much of a punishment, Berenice. I hope there's more that's done than that.

My concern is less about the 'bad eggs' or those who are abusers (because there's no question where Biblical teachings are on that), than those who are in authority and take no action against abusers, or take the action against those who have been abused in the misguided belief that Biblical teachings support them. Does that make sense?

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

There is more Jen, I just meant that if a man is accused of wrongdoing but is actually innocent, if he has let himself get into a situation where there are no witnesses to confirm his innocence, then his responsibilities will be severely limited, if he has any at all, for years to come. Someone who is guilty however, would go through the whole judicial process and be removed from the congregation.

Victims are also encouraged to contact the relevant authorities if that is what they want to do - while this was discouraged in the past, it is certainly not now, because too many men in authority were confusing dealing with internal matters with covering up crimes. ETA - for our own internal judicial system, there HAS to be a witness. Obviously abusers are not going to do it in front of others, and this is where the problems were before. So victims are encouraged to seek secular justice as they feel necessary, and should also be given personal encouragement to put their faith in Jehovah and His ability to bring their abuser to justice. I know it probably doesn't sound much to outsiders, and I'm probably not explaining myself clearly, please PM for further details.

The Bible also says that those in authority, who knowingly do the wrong thing will be held bloodguilty by Jehovah - so while they may not be punished now, everyone's bill comes due eventually. Am I making any sense?

[Jennifer13]

Victims are also encouraged to contact the relevant authorities if that is what they want to do - while this was discouraged in the past, it is certainly not now, because too many men in authority were confusing dealing with internal matters with covering up crimes.

I am very pleased to hear that. Sometimes it is the only thing that can be done to protect further (or other) victims.

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

Something else I've recently learned through personal experience about this kind of situation is that, when someone accuses someone of this kind of thing, it's supposed to go on the person's record. Then if someone else accuses them of the same thing, they're considered a witness, in that they have witnessed the same behaviour, even if it wasn't the same event.

This whole situation is occurring within my family at the moment, and while the information I've already provided is correct, I feel that maybe I didn't extend as much sympathy/understanding in my previous posts? I understand now how frustrating and faith breaking it is to see this man still getting privileges, despite his actions. It's finally being dealt with - 30 years after the first offence! - and it is giving myself as an observer, and my family members who were involved so much peace and faith again.

Agaid, I didn't intend to come across as callous or unfeeling - hopefully the additional information is able to help