i'm not really a religious person... i've not been brought up in a religious family, in fact my family would probably sway closer to atheism than religion... i'm not sure what i believe in, i don't have it all figured out just yet (does anybody).... i'm not sure this is the right place for this post....

sometimes thinking about life terrifies me.... sometimes my heart skips a beat when i think about how far i've already come, the fact that i have a child, that i'm 'all grown up' now, that my parents are getting older, that my grandparents are getting alot older, and some gone all together...

sometimes i get stuck with an overwhelming feeling thinking about my daughter growing up, wondering if i will be there, wondering whats around the corner, thinking of my parents passing and what will i do without them, thinking of getting older myself... thinking of my daughter at my age now thinking the same things, thinking of how she will go on without me.... i can't describe the feeling, its like wanting to grab time by the throat and stop it from progressing any further....

sometimes i can't believe how fast the time is going, years feel like months, weeks feel like days - and i'm told the older you get the faster it goes - and i can't imagine how it could possibly go any faster, the thought terrifies me...

i'm not sure where i am going with all this, i guess i'm wondering if anybody else has ever felt similar..... i'm wondering why i'm so preoccupied with time passing - what is it with my apparent fixation?