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Thread: issues with life, issues with death

  1. #1

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    Question issues with life, issues with death

    i'm not really a religious person... i've not been brought up in a religious family, in fact my family would probably sway closer to atheism than religion... i'm not sure what i believe in, i don't have it all figured out just yet (does anybody).... i'm not sure this is the right place for this post....

    sometimes thinking about life terrifies me.... sometimes my heart skips a beat when i think about how far i've already come, the fact that i have a child, that i'm 'all grown up' now, that my parents are getting older, that my grandparents are getting alot older, and some gone all together...



    sometimes i get stuck with an overwhelming feeling thinking about my daughter growing up, wondering if i will be there, wondering whats around the corner, thinking of my parents passing and what will i do without them, thinking of getting older myself... thinking of my daughter at my age now thinking the same things, thinking of how she will go on without me.... i can't describe the feeling, its like wanting to grab time by the throat and stop it from progressing any further....

    sometimes i can't believe how fast the time is going, years feel like months, weeks feel like days - and i'm told the older you get the faster it goes - and i can't imagine how it could possibly go any faster, the thought terrifies me...

    i'm not sure where i am going with all this, i guess i'm wondering if anybody else has ever felt similar..... i'm wondering why i'm so preoccupied with time passing - what is it with my apparent fixation?


  2. #2

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    i'm not really religious either,i was raised a catholic but i tend to take a bit of something from many religions..anyway...I totally get what your saying...these thoughts have been going through my head ever since my son was born and the same year my mum was diagnosed with cancer...i never used to think much about it before then..too into my own little world i guess ....but having my son and seeing him grow and change sooo quickly made me realise how fast life is going now and having never had to deal with a serious family health issue before it has made me constantly think of "what if something happens to me" and all those types of horrid thoughts.....night time is the worst when i'm trying to get to sleep..it's awful...and then i wake up the next day and think "why do you keep thinking about this" but i know i'll do it again...and then today with the news of Jane Mcgrath's passing...the thought of her kids without their mother at such a young age just does my head in.... becoming a parent has definitely made a more emotional person....i just wish time would slow down a bit, but i definitely appreciate every minute i get to spend with my family...now more than ever... you are definitely not alone on this topic...:

  3. #3

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    funny, it is jane mcgrath's passing that sparked it all up for me.... thinking of her kids growing up without a mummy and i just keep imagining myself in that scenario and my dd not having a mummy....

    i'm glad to hear i am not alone, i was beginning to think i have a problem. i've never had to deal with a serious health issue in the family either, and if i did i don't know how i would cope... but its almost like i'm anticipating something morbid happening... i wish i didn't think this way.

  4. #4

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    Oh Emma I don't think you have a problem, I think it's so, so normal. When people die, even ones we don't know it's often a prompt for us to start thinking about our own lives, and to look at some of the deeper philosophical questions that are too easy to brush off when we're busy or so wrapped up in the "moment".

    With the deaths of the little twins in Qld this week and now Jane McGrath as well I've been doing an awful lot of thinking in the same vein as you have. Read any of the threads about either of the above and you'll see that many of us here are doing the same thing, on some level

    It's a positive thing. If we don't stop and think about death we can never really appreciate life, or the people we love.

  5. #5
    smiles4u Guest

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    EMMA, ... I think the same things ... In fact I 'selfishly' worry what if something happens to my daughter ... I truely could not see myself coping at any point in that kind of life & getting on with it.

    I would just simply want to ' be with ' my daughter.

    I feel dreadful at times that I think about my coping more without her rather than her without me. Maybe because I know she would have her Daddy & so many other family members that absolutely deeply love & care for her.

    I strangely enough I don't worry about her future as much as I thought I would because I know as long as she has me she can learn from my own life experiences especially as a woman, eg in relationships, careers, health issues, & heaps more ....

    I didn't have any support from my own folks in the worst of situations, so I find enormous comfort that her Daddy & I will always be her safety net in life.

    ... I too have been touched with " Jane's " passing ... as I too am 42.

    I would feel far to young to have to go now if I had to. Sadly my 27 year old SIL was diagnosed with breast cancer only this past March & going through chemo. I too had a scare at 34. She has taught me without knowing it not to fear death. What a priceless gift she has given me considering we were never actually close

  6. #6

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    Once we have children it's normal to start dwelling on these issues. Not sure when you were were born Emma but if it was in 1979 (as your Username suggests) then I have a good 10 years on you LOL (1969) and, yes, I can definitley confirm that as you get older time does go faster... it certainly has for me!

    I've been thinking about similar issues alot recently. For me, personally, its a comfort that that God is outside of time. I guess I believe that when our bodies die our spirit joins God in the Heaven dimension where time isn't a defining aspect of life. I don't want to push this idea onto you or anyone... no one really knows what will happen do they? However being a bit of a science nerd I figure that the law: "Energy can not be made nor destroyed, only changed in form". So I guess I approach it in a bit of a scientific perspective as well. I don't see myself as being separated completely from my loved ones... just entering another dimension... like a square isn't separated from a straight line... we are single straight lines... we are limited in our dimension... when we die we become cubes... meaning that our spirit will be greater... still basically "us" but moreso... more developed. So our spirit will be able to be a deeper part of the ones we love. The saying "we'll be forever in their hearts" could actually be quite literal I think.

    Sorry for this little "thinking out loud" session.

  7. #7

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    I think it's perfectly normal to start thinking about death, especially as we get a bit older.

    I've had a "thing" about death since I was a kid; hated the very idea, gave me the heebyjeebies.

    DP is not afraid of death at all and his view is "well, that's part of the deal when you're born." In essence, what he's saying is without death, we don't have a life. And I kind of like that simplicity of approach.

    I don't know what happens when we dies; I find religion and the idea of an afterlife very comforting but I'm yet to be convinced. But, I do also find the idea that we live on in the memories of our children/friends very comforting too.

    Infact, when I had DD I had a very spiritual moment when she fell asleep in my arms when she was a few weeks old thinking, "well, you know what, I'm less scared of death now because I will live on in her."

  8. #8

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    A french priest is credited with saying... we are all spiritual beings having a temporary physical experience. For me, I think this is true. Death is not a stranger to me, as I've had family members die and a near-death experience with my baby son. I know that all life is terminal.

    Yes life is precious and should be celebrated. Yes we should chase the daylight and make every second of it count! But for me, this isn't all there is.

  9. #9

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    I tend to agree with that French priest and your sentiments Christine, well said darl

  10. #10

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    I got started thinking about life and death when I was 23 and one of my high school GFs died of breast cancer. 14 years later, I have read plenty on buddhism, spiritualism and mysticysm.

    I don't fear death (I've been close to it a few times in my life). Death is a part of life and accepting it will happen makes it easier for me to live a better life - my aim is to live every day as though it is my last.

    Good luck with your journey.

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