Jehovah's Witness'

[~clover~]

Well...I do want to say thanks for going into all this. I went to school with a JW. We were very good friends. She was shunned from the congregation at 15 after we were silly & tried to run away from home. She lived with her father & 3 brothers, all JW's, & was sent away to live with her mother, who wasn't a JW.
She had a hard time with it though. Her father (who it turns out was her step father, she didn't know til she was 15) was quite strict with her. She wasn't allowed to socialise out side of school with people who weren't JW's. At school she just wanted to be normal, so she used to get us to buy packs of christmas cards for her so she could give them out. & we used to do something little for her birthday every year. Just coz we didn't like that she was left out.
I do understand a bit now about why she was sent away, but at the time I thought it was rediculusly unfair. To be turned away from the only family she'd known. Her mother had left quite a few years earlier, & she had nothing to do with her. But I do think she wanted a reason to get out. Not just from the church, but from the confinements of her life.
Today she has one of her brothers living with her. I think he may be autistic. I'm not sure if he left the church, or if he was too much for their father to deal with, so he sent him to their mother also (the mother is odd & useless TBH).
I never really understood much about their religion. We asked the odd question & talked about some things, but in high school there are so many more important things to talk about...like boys etc! lol

[Peg]

clover, JW parents will attempt (as best they can) to bring the children up according to the standards of the bible, this is why the kids appear to be restricted from the normal activities that other children are participating in. Some parents allow their children to associate with their school friends (i do) while others wont. This is not a JW rule, its a personal choice that each parent must make. I've chosen not to allow them to associate with certain school friends in settings that conflict with our standards or religous beliefs such as birthday/christmas/halloween or easter parties. .... but they can go to see a movie or come over for a bbq or go to the beach together.

Like any parent, we want them to adopt our standards and morals, but the fact is that not all children grow up to become a JW just because their parents are and again, this is their personal choice. We allow our kids to make that choice as they get older because faith is a very personal thing and it should amount to a relationship between the individual and God. But while they are still young, we have the responsibility to teach, direct and guide them and to make certain decisions for them. This would have been the case with your old school friend.

I can assure you that there are no Jw rules about sending naughty children away. It certainly would not have happened becasue the congregation shunned her and thus the father had to send her on her way. Its more likely that she chose to leave rather then live under the restrictions that her father put on her.

[~clover~]

Yeah, that does make sence. I wasn't trying to sound against it or anything. She told us she was kicked out, thats all I know. & yes I do think she was happy to get out away from her father.
I don't know any other JW's, so this is the only experience with it I have. I like the way you are raising your children. I believe that all kids do have the right to a normal social life. I do completely see why you avoid the particular holiday traditions, but its good to know that not all JW's are like this with their kids. Thats the way most of them were that I could see, but I went to the Catholic school, so had nothing to do with JW's there. I only have that one experience with the religion, so I really don't have any idea.

[Peg]

Yeah, that does make sence. I wasn't trying to sound against it or anything. She told us she was kicked out, thats all I know. & yes I do think she was happy to get out away from her father.
I don't know any other JW's, so this is the only experience with it I have. I like the way you are raising your children. I believe that all kids do have the right to a normal social life. I do completely see why you avoid the particular holiday traditions, but its good to know that not all JW's are like this with their kids. Thats the way most of them were that I could see, but I went to the Catholic school, so had nothing to do with JW's there. I only have that one experience with the religion, so I really don't have any idea.

most teenagers go thru that stage in their lives...i know i did.
I've seen many of my jw's friends kids go that same way....and as painful as it is for the parents, i've never seen one family close the door on the child. All the parents I know of still have communication and a relationship with their grown chidlren who never became jws. One of my close friends had one of their daughters turn gay, and they still loved them and kept them close. My other close friend's daughter left home and got herself pregnant at aged 16...they begged her to come back home with her child, which she did...she's about to get married to a really nice guy now, not a jw but they are supporting her in her decision and helping with her wedding.

I really think its a huge misconception about JW's being these ultra strick bible bashing types who reject anyone who who does not follow their beliefs...its just not the case.