Losing a baby and faith??

[blessedatlast]

How on Earth do you believe there is a "God" Or believe that "God is good" When every single day you wake up and you don't know how you are going function.. The pain is just so extreme, so extraordinary that you don't know how the hell you are going to get through the day without some sort of help.. But then when you DO get through it, and do manage it (just because you have to) You have to 'Thank God'...??? Why can't it be just because I am good and I can cope??