When your beliefs are different to family/friends...

[eiliyah]

DH and I are both practising Muslims, and are amazed at the religious differences I have with my own mother and my inlaws, despite all being Muslim. One fantastic example is Christmas - My mother is quite "extreme" and thinks Christmas is a sin to celebrate. My inlaws, on the other hand celebrate it with a lot of vigour and passion.

Personally - DH and I have decided that we do not want our future children to celebrate Christmas, as we have our own religious celebratory holidays, however, we want our children to be charitable and give to those less fortunate at Christmas, as we want them to know that there are people out there who wont be as fortunate as them. I think this is a great way to make them respect the good will that Christmas brings, as well as understanding that all people deserve to be happy and healthy no matter what faith they are.

Unfortunately my inlaws think I'm a "fundamentalist" for choosing not to celebrate "just another holiday" and on the other end my mother accuses me of not being a good Muslim because I can stoop as low as respecting an "inferior" religious holiday.

Argh.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

It's hard because Christmas is a cultural holiday these days, not a Christian one specifically - you can have a tree, a Yule log, a big dinner and gifts without Jesus being involved at all. It is just another holiday and excuse for excess in the UK. It's getting so I don't want to be involved with it!

From my understanding - please correct me if this is wrong - but aren't Muslims supposed to honour the traditions and culture of the country they're in? Not doing something against their faith, but still being a part of the country and not alienating themselves? (So worshipping a false idol may be cultural but out, but having a family dinner on a certain day is tradition so that's OK, such as the American Thanksgiving.) In my mind, Christmas is just a nice time to have paid time off work and see the family, it has no religious significance to the masses these days. We've already said this year we're not doing a big celebration, just looking forward to seeing family.

Fine, so you're respecting an "inferior" holiday - but you're also respecting Australian culture, which surely is important?

Please correct me if this is wrong, but the "fitting in" thing was explained to me by a Muslim a few years back, but I know she wasn't that strict.

[Eugenia]

I know I'm a bit late joining in and I hope it's alright, but I just I'd share a few thoughts about religious differences amongst Christians, espcially with regards to Christmas and "fitting in".

I find that even amongst Christians there are a wide variety of beliefs regarding Christmas. Some don't celebrate it at all as the date is all wrong (I can't remember exactly but I think Jesus was most likely to have been born in June? Feel free to correct me) and it is related to pre-Christian pagan celebrations. Others think that because it did eventually become a Christian holiday it should be celebrated to excess and even get offended when people of other religions don't do it, like when shops or restaurants open on Christmas day. DH and I go for a middle line, we celebrate with family and thank God for sending His Son (even if the date is wrong) but we won't be teaching our children about Santa Claus as we don't believe he is a real part of Christmas, especially as he is used to promote greed in children. It's not surprising then that there are wide differences in other religions like Muslims regarding the celebration of Christmas.

Personally we haven't found it too bad although my ILs come from a background that considered Christmas evil and refused to acknowledge it. Funnily enough our arguments now are regarding which family gets us on Christmas day and which one has to make do with some other day. I find I tend to dig my heels in a bit when it comes to that and let my family have first choice of days as Christmas has always been more meaningful to us rather than just be an excuse for a family meal like it is with the ILs.

Funny, but it so true about those people who believe in nothing. I have friends of many different religions but I've only ever had arguments about religion with those who called themselves either atheists or agnostics.

[eiliyah]

From my understanding - please correct me if this is wrong - but aren't Muslims supposed to honour the traditions and culture of the country they're in? Not doing something against their faith, but still being a part of the country and not alienating themselves?

From what I've gathered it is against Islam to celebrate the religious events of a differing faith. As a Muslim, I take pride in my own religious celebrations and choose to honour Islam in happily making the most of Ramadan, Eid, prayer and Muslim worship.

However, (and this is a big However) as Muslims we MUST respect the rights and laws of the country we live in. I'm Australian born and bred. My father is an Australian of Irish/Scottish descent. I do not identify with any other nationality but Australian. As a Muslim, I expect my beliefs to be respected, and in return, I have nothing but the utmost respect for those around me. It doesnt bother me in the slightest that Christmas is a big event in Australia. Living here is the choice I have made because I love this country, and I'm so proud to be an Australian.

I dont think my choice to not celebrate Christmas alienates me from society. Its when I start berating others for their personal choices that makes it wrong. The bottom line is to let others be. We all live under the same set of laws which include respect and and peace for our fellow human beings, no matter their faith

[Eugenia]

Eiliyah, if only everyone believed and lived as you do wouldn't this be such a wonderful, peaceful world? Oh well, we can all do our little bit to help.

[Heaven]

Ryn- sorry, haven't been on for about a week so haven't replied. But thankyou for your thoughts on the pig thing!!

It's so sad that in all religions people are criticised by others even of the same religion for what they do or believe!! How frustrating!!
Don't get me started on Christmas, lol. I love Christmas. But, I'm Christian and I want it to be about Jesus in my house, not how many presents you get from Santa. I can just imagine what my family would say if I chose not to do Santa for my kids, I'd be depriving them or something of course. It would be such a big deal that I think I'm just going to do it. But I've decided that I'm not having any Santa decorations or anything like that. We have lots of decorations now but not of Santa or reindeer or anything, and I always buy Christmas cards that actually have the nativity or something on them. Hmm....it's going to be hard though.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

We don't do Santa, SJ. We don't even do stockings (LOL, can't afford to fill them!) although I have - or rather, DS has a very old family one that has been passed down... six generations now? Something like that.

I can see the uproar this year because DH is getting a DVD we get free with loyalty points (maybe after Christmas because it looks like we won't have all the points in time), I'm kniting DS some sheep and I'm not getting anything. Maybe best not to tell family that! But we don't need anything - and DS will get so many toys why add to that? Last year was so ridiculous. All I want is a specific book and a specific film, maybe a pair of slippers... I don't want to write a whole list for MiL, as she always asks for one (then ignores it). But Christmas isn't about gifts so I should remind people that. *gulp* then run away!

And yes, always the ones with no faith that can't respect it. I'm sick of people assuming because they're athiest/agnostic and family they can berate me for hours because I have the truth about Jesus. You don't believe? Fine. You started harassing me and I'll defend myself, yes from the Bible. Because it's true. Bah, blood pressure rising again thinking of this so best be off!

[Heaven]

Ryn- so you don't do Santa at all. You are brave these days I reckon!! Just going off what I think my family would say if I did that

So.....was thinking again, lol........what about the other contraversial religious beliefs....how do ppl deal with them when they come up?

I was also thinking (because of the euthanasia thread), what about when religious beliefs are different to society's beliefs? I know in Christianity for example there are some pretty controversial beliefs which were accepted back in the day but are now not so accepted by society. How do we stay true to our beliefs without offending people?? I just keep it to myself but sometimes these things come up in conversation. How do you deal with it?