Your own Mortality - Does it worry you sometimes?

[MummyNaomi]

I don't often dwell on death, but since becoming a Mother, I've had some random (short) moments of fearing that my time is up and leaving my DS behind.

Anyone else had those thoughts? I've found them to be random and few and far between, but still there - eg on the day we bought DS home from the hospital as a newborn I drove to the local Macca's to get some lunch for DH and I (leaving DH home with our newborn) and felt panicked about having a car accident and dying, I've had this similar feeling a couple of times when I've not been with DS and DH (often while driving). Once I am reunited with them the feeling goes completely.

I never ever worried about it before, I guess being a mother and being responsible for another little person makes you more aware of these things. Perhaps I'm worried about not being around to have the biggest influence on DSs growth and development into the person he will become (and of course no one can look after my child like me ) I'm sure these feelings are normal, anyone else experienced them?

They are not bothering me as such, but it just got me thinking.....

[Purple Penguin]

I have had similar experiences, like you, mostly while driving, they don't tend to bother me much usually. More just the what ifs etc

[AndiE]

Yep, definitely. I don't fear my own death, my fear is more about leaving my boys without a mummy, and will they remember me. Of course, by the time I'm six-foot-under my kids will have grandkids of their own ... hopefully I think it's probably part and parcel about being a mummy though - life and death takes on far more significance, if that makes sense. At least, it has done with me.

[Maruschke]

Having miscarriages really slaps you with your own mortality. So yes I do think about it often.

[fionas]

I think about death almost daily but then I always have frequently thought of my own mortality. More often now because of the fear of leaving my children behind - and I think having them made me conscious of the whole life/death cycle.

Death used to petrify me - not the dying part but the not being here part. Now, I'm trying to use it in a positive way and think/do more about what legacy I'll leave behind. Makes me more determined to make the rest of my life worthwhile and focuses my attention on what sort of person I want to be and what goals I want to reach. I want to die a happy woman content that I've done something worthwhile.

[Epacris]

Yep. In fact, right now DH and I are in the middle of re-doing all our finances, including the children’s, updating our wills and spending a ****load of money on income protection, death and TPD and trauma insurance. In the unlikely event that something does happen everything will be in order.

[RainbowBrite]

It is something that I occasionally used to think about but it was not until after my XDH died it hit me that I am the only parent my 4 older kids have, if something happened to me they are orphans...that was pretty profound and scared me a bit.
It frightens me to think any of my kids might be brought up without a mother, but I know my 3 younger kids will have there dad.

[Catastrophic]

Yes, I do. There is times when these thoughts are more common then others, and sometimes it seems so real like it's actually happening.


Love MN ;-)

[Mildez]

Yes I worry but its all about what future my 3 girls will have without their biological mummy and how DH would cope. FX I live long enough so they are adults

[BMCMI]

It only worries me since becoming a mother aswell. Like you, I worry about what will happen if I die. My partner is a fantastic father but he's not me. My kids would grow up without their mother. I think it's a natural feeling so long as it doesn't consume you.

[feeb]

Yep as others have said I worry about my kids not having their mummy to look after them, and also wonder what DH would do how he would cope.

[phebee]

Not usually but just last night I was thinking about how sometimes women can die in childbirth (though rare these days) and how DH and I really should get onto wills and do I have life insurance on my super plan like he does? cause I'd hate to leave him unsupported with a child to raise alone.


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[Gigi]

i now think about being homeless MORE than dying. And being homeless, i would have to give bilby up for fostering (rather than make her homeless too).

After that, then i think about my mortality. Cos no-one else would love her/bring her up/advocate for her, the same as her own mum.

Her father is financially irresponsible, and in illhealth, so if he got hit by a bus tomorrow, bilby is not taken care of in any shape or form. That worries me. She has so little family.

i would like to get my own life insurance (for bilby once i'm gone, esp if it would pay for her to go to a decent secondary school), but each time i look into it, the salespeople are so aggressive, i totally back off.

i worry about her mortality too, this suburb used to be full of "crime not involving people", now we're getting stabbings and last week, an abduction.

[Beatrix]

I'm petrified of death. The whole nothingness scares me so bad if I start thinking about it I have to stop or I will end up in a massive anxiety attack.

I worry about my girls as their dad is a drop kick and pray he would let me parents have custody so thy are raised in a stable and loving environment as I'm sure he would think I had died to inconvenience him.
And I worry that he won't let M still be a part of the girls lives.

I have life Insurance though and it's set up to go to M so my ex can't get his hands on anything and my will states that M will have the money in trust for the girls and will pay for half certain things when he is given the bill for. So my girls will be looked after by a trust fund that will be available for part schooling costs (their dad will still have to be some what financially responsible)
But i don't want to have ex the have access to the money when he feels like it and waste it like I know he would.


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[Miss E]

Yes, I think about it all the time. Well, not all the time, but whenever I have a little health niggle - a headache for a couple of days or some sort of random pain and also on occassion when I'm driving alone. I think for me personally it has a lot to do with my own mother dying from cancer at a relatively young age. I would hate for DS not to have his mother growing up and I would hate to miss out on him growing up. I try not to focus on it too much though.

[Alexis83]

This is gunna sound really morbid and depressing, but I think about it all the time. =P I thought I was having a midlife crisis a couple of months ago! I think these thoughts have spurred on my desire to start TTC. It scares me that life is really quite short...

[Artechim]

After the crappy start to the BB year with a member losing her husband, then Uncle Amy and Lulu, then the babies born sleeping that didn't even get a chance at life, it really shook me up and I organized life insurance for DH and I so at least the surviver will be alright financially if anything happened to one of us.
I do worry about myself dying and leaving them, also if DH takes the kids out I sometimes end up in tears at the thought of something happening and them not coming home - they are my whole world.

[Mak]

I do worry about it because my mum died when I was 9. I do try and keep it in perspective - you never know what is ahead of you? But I tend to take lots of photos and videos of everyone and also try to focus on the gift that simply having a life to live is. I do also try to keep us all reasonably healthy - so exercise and good food as well as lots of laughs. Neither DH or I smoke or drink much either so we try to minimise our environmental risk as such.