I am really sorry H.P.L.
I wish I could say something to make you feel better but I have been there are I know nothing really helps...except time to grieve. Feel better
I swear I must have done something is a past life to have been given all of the stress and sadness in my life the past few weeks. I can not believe I am back here AGAIN, I am so P*SSED OFF I just want to screeam, I can't cry becuase I feel like all i have done is cry for the last month, this has been the worst experience of my life and it all surrounds my wedding say, which oh did i forget to mention is in 2 DAYS!!
I had my OB appt today to confirm that this baby is alive and a-okay - um the look on my Ob's face i just wanted to die literally die - we had a baby, a live baby, that baby grew but didn't grow enough AGAIN - no heartbeat - which we were meant to see - there has been bleeding in the sac but I have no had any spotting or cramping, I have been taken progestrone (sp) to help this baby along and it hasnt worked.
I am getting married in 2 days and I have to mourn again? really?? Yay we're pregnant, no your not, yes you are, no im not.... this is what I have gone through for 4 weeks, and its not over yet, i had a BT today and go back again on Monday to see finally what happens - then on Thursday D&C - feel like I have just wasted 2 weeks being grateful this baby will be okay, getting my hopes up, dreaming about my baby boy (hoping for blue) and what he will bring to our lives and now now I have to mourn him all over again! I HAVE ALREADY DONE THIS!!!
I just dont know how much more I can take, my Ob is wonderful, fantastic, he said that I need to focus on what is about to happen and how wonderful that is, and that what I am going through, well we DF and I is terribly sad and heart renching but that if i dont enjoy my day i will never forgive myself or this baby, and he makes sense - but then i feel guilty to think i am about to hae a spray tan at 230 for goodness sake while all i am thinking about is this baby that may or maynot be alive in my tummy....
I just can't stand it any more .... I just, I'm broken, I am broken and I dont know what to do
Far out, I only just read that your OBS confirmed a baby was growing & I was floored to say the least but over the moon for you & your DF but now your post I just don't know what to say hun. The timing of these events is just blardy awful and I wish, no pray that your baby is alive. I just want to send you love, hope, positive light & wish you all the best outcome, of a live bubba.
OH MY GOD! I just can't believe this H.P.L! I mean really! This is so hard to even explain let alone go through... I am so so so sorry to read this. I was so sad when I read you original post as it was and then so amazed when it all turned around for you and now this! Well this is too much and just before your special day!
I really have no idea what I can say to make you feel any better. I am tearing up just thinking what you are going through...... I am just so so so sorry!
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