Anna,

I am so sorry for your losses. I hate to say but most of us understand the pain you are in - it just takes time to learn to live with it, but unfortunately the pain never really leaves it just dulls a bit.
Anna - take some time out for yourself, be kind to yourself and don't rush things, your emotions are probably all over the place right now not to mention the hormones in your body. I wish i could take the pain away for you but i can't all i can do is send you a and my thoughts.