Abruption 2nd time round, looking for hope

[Brooke*]

Hi everyone,
I would like to share my story in attempt to gain support and hope... my husband an i have just experienced the loss of our son Jed... born at 34weeks. This was my second pregnancy. The first was ectopic which i lost a tube at 5w and was faced with transfusions etc. Three weeks ago, i was faced with the loss of my beautiful boy and harsh reality that i could have lost my life again...only this time was alot more serious... it's very scary.
We are still in disbelief and are constantly saying Why?...and how could this happen to anyone?
Jed was concieved through AI so the lead up to his conception was a long road...a road we'd never imagined we would travel but we chose in order to track ovulation (as it is now only possible to conceive from the R side); The day we received the phone call to tell of the positive test, was the most exciting day!!! We were positive...and started making plans for the future. My pregnancy with Jed was smooth sailing...i felt good...BP was normal...no unusual signs that anything would occur until the day he decided to come early. I had a massive bleed caused from a placental abruption which lead to emergency ceasar...the most frightening day of our life... we welcomed our little man into our world only to have him taken from us the next day...it was love at first sight...it was kind of bitter sweet as we feel enriched for having a beautiful son but are heart broken at his loss and just miss him dearly. Naturally, i move in and out of blaming myself even though i have been reassured that there was nothing i could have done differently.
for now we take one day at a time. After reading some of the posts i don't feel so isolated... everyone has their own story.
When we work through our emotions, we hope to have a brother or sister for Jed but i am worried will it be possible and if it is am nervous already about next prgnancy and pregnancy so soon after caesar...
does anyone have any thoughts or comments or similar stories?
thank you for giving me a voice on this forum

[Lovenhope]

Brooke,
I am so so so sorry for your loss. You are so brave to put it in words and put it out there. I hope you find the comfort you are looking for and need. I can relate to your emotions relating to the ectopic preg. but not to the tradgedy that followed.
You and your DH are in my prayers and thoughts.
Take care of your own physical and emotional needs.

[Mel1977]

Oh Brooke, I am so sorry to read about Jed It is such a devastating and unimaginable thing to experience, a pain most people are lucky enough to not even fathom. Unfortunately I understand what you are going through, we said goodbye to our son Nicholas at 36w1d due to placental abruption. We had no idea anything was wrong until I stopped feeling movement and then it was too late I am now pregnant with our second child (who was conceived through IVF) and it is very scary. Can I ask if they have given you any reason or theory to your abruption? Have they done any tests?

Nothing anyone can say will ease your pain or take away the hurt, but just know there are people here who understand you. I found the hardest thing to deal with was the lack of acknowledgement from other people that you are a mother... especially around this time of Mother's Day, to most a day filled with joy - for us a day to remind us what we miss out on. Big :hugs: for you for tomorrow, and every other day.

We are here for you if you need us, look after yourself and just feel what you need to feel at that moment - its the only way to get through. Sometimes it feels that you never will, you will never be able to smile again - slowly in time things such become a little easier.

Mel

[chepie]

Brooke - babe I am ever so very sorry for the loss of Jed .... I hope that you find lots of support here, the women are amazing here xxxx

[Emmy-Lou]

Brooke..my Heart is breaking for you...I am so so sorry for what you are going through...I pray for you and your husband, take care and be there for one another and lean on all the wonderful people in here as much as you need to. Sorry i can't help with your questions but please know your in my thoughts and prayers..Take Care.
xoxox

[bailey99]

Brooke, I am so sorry for the loss of your precious Jed. Unfortunetly, I can understand a little of what you are feeling as I lost my daughter 18 months ago at 33 weeks. I cannot offer ant advise about placental abruptions however I had a c-section with my daughter and was told I could safely get pregnant after 6 months. I fell pregnant 5 months later and none of the Dr's or midwives were concerned about it. You have a long hard journey ahead of you, but it does get a little easier in time. You have definetly come to the right place for understanding and support, there is no way I could have gotten through the last 18 months and my last pregnancy without the amazing ladies here.
Take care