Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry for you

I don't think you should feel bad for not falling apart - you have your son to look after and that will help distract you. I know that each lil angel is just as important, and you will grieve for this one just as you grieved for the others. The only difference is you can't become consumed by your grief because you have another lil person to look after, and thats not disloyal, its just life.

Sending you big squishy rib breaking cyber cuddles