Baby is gone

**Evie76** · April 29th, 2008, 11:10 AM

Hi everyone

Well, I suspected that I was miscarrying and I'm correct. I'm currently sitting here at home feeling a bit like I'm at a loose end. I had a feeling late last week when I was spotting that things were not going well - but I had heard that spotting is quite common and not necessarily the indicator of m/c.

On Sunday night - still spotting - I moved off the couch and then the "flood" started. I just knew that it had gone beyond spotting and was something much more serious. My DH and I went to the ER and they said it is common for pg women to still have their AF. Dunno how that works.

So, I had a scan yesterday and the Dr said that viability was extremely low. Then the Dr said he wanted me to have a blood test. If it test +ve then I would need to do another one later in the week to see if the HCG levels are increasing or decreasing. Decreasing means miscarriage.

I was +ve and he said that the HCG levels are indicating that I am six weeks - to small to see on a scan. Anyway, he said "there is still hope" so to have the second blood test on Thurs to see what is happening.

This morning I starting "expelling" massive clots (so large I can feel them come out, sorry TMI) - very, very similar to after birth - which indicates to me that m/c is underway, well and truly.

So, unfortunately Bubbles is no more. But this is far from the end. I am determined to get Daniel a little brother or sister!! Come hell or high water!!

I guess I am lucky I don't have to have a D&C as my body seems to be taking care of everything for me. Just REALLY wanted Bubbles to stick around........... *sigh*....... like I said....... at a lose end.

I feel sad, but know that m/c's happen for a reason. Just be nice to know exactly what that flamin' reason is.

Anyway, that's my story today.

I think for today I will keep checking in here and float around the house watching Oprah and eating chocolate............. oh, I wish I had chocolate!! I'll have to go down to the shop.

**feeb** · April 29th, 2008, 11:14 AM

so sorry to hear this is happening to you.

Huge Hugs to you take it easy and have someone at home with u to support you.

xoxox

**Leemar** · April 29th, 2008, 11:15 AM

I am sorry for your loss

**Lulu** · April 29th, 2008, 11:16 AM

I'm so sorry Bubbles couldn't stay.

Hit the chocolate hunny, maybe a glass o wine too. xoxoxoxoxo

**Evie76** · April 29th, 2008, 11:22 AM

Yeah Lulu........ wine.......... I forgot....... I can drink that again.

For a while anyway, in readiness for "pinchy".........

**aussienic** · April 29th, 2008, 11:24 AM

sorry you have to go though this,

**~ Mylitta ~** · April 29th, 2008, 11:40 AM

Lestypuss - I'm so sorry that you are miscarrying

Last week I found out my baby had passed away and needed to have a D&C (we were 8 weeks and 1 day pregnant), so I know how devastating the loss can be no matter how long the precious little bub was with you.

I'm still not coping very well, but realise that time is needed to grieve and heal, so take all the time you need for yourself and don't worry about what other people might say or think.

My thoughts are with you.

Oh, and I ate an entire "Crunchie" easter egg yesterday that was left over from easter...

**Evie76** · April 29th, 2008, 11:45 AM

Krystie - you got another one of those lying around somewhere???

Email it to me........... they email........ don't they??

**~Kim~** · April 29th, 2008, 01:09 PM

Lestypus, my sad day got so much sadder when I read your post. I totally understand about the loose end syndrome. My little one is staying put so I am booked for my D&C tomorrow morning.
I was thinking about you at 3.30am this morning, wondering how you were getting along.
I'm so so sorry.

I ate a whole club peppermint block yesterday.....have to say that was all I ate but it didn't really help.

**sneakysparkle** · April 29th, 2008, 01:13 PM

Lesty I'm so sorry darl
Wish I could say something to make you feel better

**Isadora** · April 29th, 2008, 01:23 PM

So sorry lestypuss

Enchanted · April 29th, 2008, 01:37 PM

Lesty- I am so sorry to hear that

Take all the time in the world that you need to heal and eat all the choccie you need.

**Evie76** · April 29th, 2008, 01:40 PM

Thank you everyone - especially you Kim, I hope that you are alright too.

Does anyone know how much you are supposed to bleed? It's like a REALLY, REALLY heavy AF, is that OK?

**mollycat** · April 29th, 2008, 01:55 PM

Hi Lesty - sorry bubbles had to go....
when I m/c someone on here (and i'm so sorry but i forget who) made some terrific cyber cakes. Really made it easier knowing there was someone out there who was going through the same thing. Go your hardest on the chocolate and whatever else is handy. Give yourself time to adjust and grieve, because Bubbles was definately a part of your family, doesn't matter how long they were around, they were really wanted.

And yes, it is like heavy AF.

**~ Mylitta ~** · April 29th, 2008, 02:14 PM

Krystie - you got another one of those lying around somewhere???

Email it to me........... they email........ don't they??

No more Crunchie eggs, but I do have a mega "Humpty Dumpty" type egg. You know, the ones with the smarties inside? It should email fine as soon as I work out how to insert it in the usb port...

**Evie76** · April 29th, 2008, 02:14 PM

Thanks mollycat.

Wouldn't want to be haemorraghing and not know it - it's very similar to the after effects of having Daniel.

Yes, Bubbles was already a part of our family. His/her dad was already having little conversations. I think my DH is quite devastated. He was "shocked" when I told him I was pg again. He even had a massive stress attack - how are we going to afford day care etc etc......... but he had gotten used to the fact that we were having another one. Always telling Daniel that he had to be a model "big brother" and that throwing himself to the floor and having a tanty wasn't exactly the sort of behaviour he was hoping for from the apple of his eye.

He wants to start trying again soon.......... he really liked the idea of a second baby once he got over the initial stuff.