It has been 12 days since I gave birth to my son, Ethan Gabriel. At 23 weeks, he was a stillborn baby, one who is deeply loved and cherished. I found out I was pregnant on July 10th and I couldn't believe it. I called my husband after taking 3 pregnancy tests and his reaction was memorable. We were both excited and ecstatic. It was a pregnancy that was not planned, yet it was welcomed with joyful hearts. My pregnancy was very emotional and physically tiring. At 16 weeks, the doctor took my blood to test for Down Syndrome and other defects. The blood test came back abnormal for a condition called Trisomy 18, a birth defect similar to Down's but much worse. Babies with Trisomy 18 usually don't live past the first week and those that do have severe defects. For one torturous week, my husband and I waited to have an ultrasound to search for characteristics of Trisomy 18. When we had the ultrasound, I was a mess. The doctor could see no signs of Trisomy 18 and my husband and I were relieved. We found out then that our baby was a boy. 7 weeks later, I went for my monthly pre-natal check-up. My doctor could not find a heartbeat with the Doppler. When she did an ultrasound, she could not see a heartbeat. It had been awhile since I had felt the baby move and I had been afraid to voice my fears. Deep down, when she could not find the heartbeat, I knew we had lost the baby. Two days later, I was in the hospital scheduled to be induced. After 14 hours of grueling labor, I gave birth to my baby boy. I never realized how much I loved him until I held his lifeless, tiny body in my arms. The pain I felt was a pain I had never experienced before. I felt so cheated out of getting to know my baby. I had dreams of us playing together and laughing. My husband and I spent a few hours with Ethan, talking to him, holding him, and touching him. When they took him away, it felt like a piece of me was being ripped from body. My heart is broken and I will never forget Baby Ethan. One day, my heart will be put back together, but the cracks will remain. Ethan Gabriel will always be in my heart and never forgotten.