I am also going through this at the moment. This was going to be a busy Christmas period for us - but now after the loss of Nathaniel it all seems so different. We have a wedding to attend this weekend for a very close friend of mine and it has been playing on my mind. We made the decision yesterday to not attend, as it is too difficult to know how we will feel on Saturday.

I think you need to take each day. If you wake up on the day and think you can't cope - then don't force yourself. I think sometimes it is the decision-making in the lead up to something that makes it so hard. Once you have actually made the decision it feels like a weight has been lifted. I keep getting caught up in the 'what will they think' scenario - and both DH and my mum have reminded me repeatedly that
1) I can't predict what people will think
2) I should not care what they think - if I am upset than I have every right to be and not to worry about other people's opinions.

Take care of yourself. Maybe try to have your DH understand a bit more, as you will need his support. Mine has assured that me on Christmas Day if we don't want to attend a rellie event, we don't have to.

Hugs to you.