Hi all, first time on anything like this. Don't really know what else to do.
I found out I was expecting my second baby on Monday. On Thursday I woke up to bad pains in the left of my abdomen, had awful diarrhoea and threw up. I immediately thought something wasn't right, my partner had taken our son out, and after a quick look on the web I thought it sounded like an ectopic pregnancy so called 999. I spent a few hours in a and e p, got checked out, but the doc said it seemed like food poisoning and I had a very slight water infection that did not require treatment. We had been for a meal the previous night so although in the back of my mind still I was a little worried, the pain had gone and I went home. Later that evening I started to bleed, no pain and I had this slightly with my first son so I thought I'd give it till morning and go to my GP.
So Friday morning came around and I went to the surgery, they sent me to the early pregnancy assessment unit to get checked, I had an internal and got told it was ectopic. It all happened so fast, strap on wrist, told I was staying in, that I needed an op, I was all alone and had to call my partner out of work. What really hit me was minutes later when the doc came in and started explaining that they would be totally removing my left tube with our baby. I'm 26 years old and just felt totally devastated. I couldn't tell my partner this over the phone and waited till he arrived.
I had keyhole surgery with three small incisions a few hours later and the doc told me that my right remaining tube looked ok yesterday morning, and I was sent home in the early afternoon. Since then I spent the night in bed after a total breakdown when I got home, and now sit here in bed alone again with what feels like no one in the world and I just don't know what to do. I live a little way away from my family, and my partners family are very different to mine (as in not one of thems even been in touch to say sorry for our loss or anything like that that I would consider normal). My partner and I have had a few difficulties in recent months, he has had a difficult past and it is clear to me that he suffers with depression yet he will not go to get help. He said last night he has always felt dead emotionally, what do you say to that. I don't know what to do. I just want to totally break down, more than anything I just want to be held but its like there's nothing from him. I don't know where to turn so I thought I'd try crying out for some support on here. Thanks for listening and taking the time to read this.
Oh sweetie, I am so so sorry to hear your story. There is lots of support in here. The best thing someone said to me after my miscarriage was "be kind to yourself"
so... Know that you are allowed to feel terrible right now and be kind to yourself
Thinking of you. Its not an easy road to travel but it will get easier. I have also had an ectopic and lost my right tube in 2009. During the surgery they discovered my left tube was also damaged but I did go on to conceive naturally again the following year and had my 3rd DD and recently conceive again but unfortunately that wasn't meant to be and I had an early m/c. My DH is also an unaffectionate mute as I call him who often comes across as not caring but in his own way he does and if you pay close attention I can sometimes tell he does by the way he loves our daughters, will care for them overnight so I can get some sleep, waited outside the OT for 9hrs whilst I was in there etc. Like PP said you are not alone always hear to listen if you need it xx
Oh hun. You are not alone. Please be kind to yourself and allow yourself to grieve the loss of both your pregnancy and your tube also.
I know the feeling. I've only recently recovered from my ectopic which was found at just over 7 weeks gestation. It's so heartbreaking.
If you need to chat feel free to private message me. There is a great group on this forum for ectopic pregnancy stories, I would link you but I am on my phone. I'll see if I can jump on a computer soon.
Sperks lots of hugs and peaceful wishes to you. I've not had an ectopic but I know the trauma and sadness you must be feeling right now. Take care and as the others have said take time to feel sad.
I know that pain. This is very unfortunate to happen to a woman. The feeling of loosing a child is devastating. All I will say is never give hope. There are always many other ways to cope with it, don't punish yourself for the things that you have no control over. Be blessed. fertile mind
Last edited by TeresaJane; July 5th, 2013 at 04:02 PM.
Feel completely lost
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