Hease105,
My thoughts are with you at this painful time, you will find many supportive friends on here who will help you to feel less isolated whilst you go through the grieving process. I know that when I needed them they made each day a little easier to bear. Give yourself time to go through all of the emotions that your body throws at you. And also know that you are not alone, writing about it on here helps immensely.
Thinking of you,
ClareBear.