Hi everyone. At Christmas DH and I were shocked and delighted to discover we had conceived naturally while waiting for our next IVF cycle. I have only one tube left after the ectopic last year and it's in "bad shape" so we'dbeen told chances of natural conception were very slim. And yet, we had a little Christmas miracle which we nicknamed Hope.

Sadly this week at our 10 wk scan, we saw that Hope's heart which had been so strong at 8 weeks, had stopped. Our miracle had flown from us. It was a shattering moment for DH and I as we stared at the screen.

Our third loss in the space of 12 months has left us devastated, empty and also angry. I had a curette today and am physically exhausted.

And I am also scared I might never get to hold my forever baby. We wonder why this has happened again and I worry something is wrong with me. I am so angry I see people pregnant around me who smoke and mistreat their bodies while I try to do all the right things.

I hope that in time the well of inner strength will come to the surface again to pull DH and I through.

We loved you sweet baby Hope, and will always remember you sweetie. Fly safely little soul.