Hi all..so sorry for all your losses, it truly is the most devastating thing I have ever been through.

On 3rd April 2008 I lost my little baby. I did not know how for along I was exactly but I was definately more than 10/11 weeks along. I have never spoken to anyone about it, and knowing that I should now be holding my little baby in my arms is really breaking my heart.

I've been trying so hard to cope with this over the past year but since my little angels first anniversary it has become so much more difficult for me to deal with. My heart aches so much everytime I think back to the day that it all happened. I was getting ready to go out for a meal with my friend to celebrate but I had really bad tummy and back cramping, so went to the toilet..and noticed I was losing so much blood and passing large clots.

I'm sure alot of you can understanding where I am coming from (sorry if this is tmi) but all I can remember is sitting there crying, looking at what was happening and thinking why me, why my baby. I passed what looked like a little leg and foot, with perfectly formed little toes (this just makes me cry so much).

I just let everything happen on its own terms and didn't seek any medical attention. I'm now considering maybe talking to my gp about this as I feel like I need someone to chat to. I've also found out I have a blood clotting condition, and as a student nurse I have put two and two together- thinking that this may have caused me to miscarry.

Love Amber..x