How do I stop putting the kids through this???

[Pretty Butterfly]

I know its ok for the kids to see me cry, and upset. But when is it too much??

I cry ALL THE TIME... and I am getting very sick, and feeling SOOOO guilty that I am making them upset over Seven everyday.....

I just cant stop. If I go off to my room, they find me anyway...

I just hate that they are moving on, and I keep pulling them back into the sadness and the mouring... I need to stop, and I cant.....

Last Friday would of been my 20wks, and today its been 3 weeks since the d & c.. so real bad few days, and I can see it on my kids faces.....

man, I am sitting here a blubberiung mess, with Za getting upset... I HATE IT....

[BrightSparkles]

Oh hun. Sending you loads of
You need your time to grieve. It will take different times for everyone. Do you have people around that you can debrief with IRL??
I really don't know what else to suggest hun, I've not been in this situation. All I can offer you is massive and eyes to read/ears to listen if you want to chat. xxxx

[diannescruffy]

Hun, want to give you huge as well. When I lost Emmanuel I just wanted to be so strong for my kids but half of the time the tears would be just rolling down my face. You know what I found, kids are a lot stronger emotionally than we think.

Regards,
Dianne

[Matthew's Mum]

so sorry you & your family are going through this terrible loss.When my kids saw/see me crying about my loss,i would tell themthat i was sad about the baby dying but happy i had them to hug me.I know other kids know this but i think it helped ease my guilt my voicing it a lot.Remember you have nothing to feel guilty about,your doing the best you can for your family.There is an old saying'guilt is a mother's middle name',we're to hard on ourselves somtimes.Hugs

[Frantelle]

Honey firstly big hugs.

You need to be gentle and kind to yourself.

It sounds like you may need to speak to someone professionally. Did the hospital offer any kind of counselling...

Sorry but I really don't know what to say

[Jaycee]

Oh babe

I agree with the other girls, maybe speak to a counsellor?

Your grief is still so raw, so don't beat yourself up.

I wish there was something I could do

[beckoes]

I dont really have any words, just hugs for you. Be kind to your self, its ok to grieve for aslong as you need to.
Hugs to you. xx

[Tegam]

as a mother our job of teaching our children about life never ends. Today you are teaching your kids about loss and grief. You are showing them that it is a long process with no clear guidelines. That its ok to feel sad, to cry, to get angry and get confused! All I would say is make sure you extend that teaching to include the fact that family support each other at these times. That its a time to be honest and share how we are feeling and not to hid in our room and shut ourselves off. You made this child as part of a family, mourn the loss as a family.


I hope this helps!