Nae Nae - you get over it one day at a time. And then you realise you are never really over it - it just becomes easier to face the day and function. Eventually you live again. One day you will laugh and smile. It just takes time - and for each of us that amount of time is different.

I didn't have a c-section but I took my full allowance of maternity leave (public service is 14 weeks). I couldn't have faced going back to work before then. I needed the opportunity to cry when I wanted to and stay in bed all day if I felt that is what I wanted to do. I faced the world slowly. When I felt I could face the (seemingly) thousands of pregnant women and babies who crossed my path. I ended up going back to work after Caitlyn's due date had passed. I needed to spend that time (and particularly the day and the weeks leading up to it) at home.

I also felt a perverse pleasure in my milk coming in. To me it meant that at least some part of me worked properly even if I couldn't grow my baby. As for the funeral - we had a lovely service with just our immediate family. The religious focus was soothing for me even though I had so much anger for why it happened and what sort of God allowed this.

Don't feel guilty about thinking about the next time. It is normal and natural to want the baby you were planning but it is also normal to want to try again. When that is is different for everyone but for me - I wanted to try again immediately. I wanted a baby. I had lost my little girl and I was grieving for her but it didn't take away the desire for a child. Your only concern will be the physical recovery from the c-section and what the recommendation from your OB is.

Men and women grieve differently so don't be surprised if you feel that DH has *got over it* and you are still way behind. It doesn't mean he has - he is just processing it in his way and that is ok too. Use those of us who have walked a similar path to vent to and bounce off. Be gentle with yourself and remember - you are a mummy to a very special little girl who will always be with you.