Thank you for your beautiful words of support and encouragement. I'm learning that so many women go through this - and sometimes several times.... people just don't talk about it much it seems..... which is sad, and hard, because I feel like I have lost a child - well, I suppose I have...
This experience has given me a renewed appreciation for the anguish that losing a little one causes to those involved, even though they weren't full-term (or even able to survive outside the womb). I think I'll give my friend a really big hug next time I see her (I know she's had a miscarriage in the past).
This afternoon I prepared a beautiful white box with the prettiest paper I could find and wrote prayers and messages in and on it. I picked the choicest flowers from my garden - often the only ones on the plant (first sweetpea, first bud of a favourite rose ...) and placed them in the box with my little one.
My husband, son and I then said our goodbyes with more flowers, hugs and tears, out near the passionfruit vines.
Tomorrow is Mother's Day. I'm still a mum. But am I a mum of 1 or 2 (or 3, if you count the little one I lost at about 8dpo)?
[I wish there was an emoticon for "Bawling my eyes out!". A sad face just doesn't cut it...]
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