hi...
i know that devastation first hand of the doc not being able to find a heartbeat as i have experienced this twice now.
Allow yourself to grieve and feel angry, sad etc, anything you need to and try and surround yourself with supportive people who will take care of you, even in silence! Its hearbreaking to go through a delivery, mine were long but one small positive is that you got to meet your baby and see a beautiful head of hair. i would not take back meeting my angels for anything and i feel blessed to have had the chance to hold them after their passing as many do not have the same opportunities. Although those memories are still raw, i do treasure them and hope in time you can do the same...
lean on the bb girls, its a wonderful support site!
take care
x jo