Flygirl - Sorry is jut not enough but I will say it anyway. Never feel that you are not entitled to as much grief as anyone loing a child. Whether you have already had one child or ten. A loss is still a loss and no less painful. Your words could have been spoken from my mouth time and time again... I truly feel your pain.
I have a DS - achieved with much assistance after 2 m/cs. Last yr we lost another 4 babies ( 2 sets of twins). other seem to think that maybe you get "used" to it or the pain should be dulled by "numbers" somehow but it jut gets harder and harder. I do think it is harder for your friends to understand all that you are going through despite their own losses as they have gone on to a sucesful pg. Back to back m/c also brings the compunding of grief. YOu are right in thinking you probably never really dealt with the first loss so a second loss brings on the pain of both in one horrible, crashing wave.
I would consider councelling in at least being a space to vent your feelings. I don't think even the most supportive DH can truly understand the depth of grief that goes with m/c so you probably do need to talk with someone other than him.
I wish i could tell you a quick way to 'get over" all this but I am yet to find it myself. The days get easier but those losses are always there and will truly change you for life.

I pray that you can get through this tough time and eventually look forward to trying again. Even after 2 losses, there is a VERY good chance at success.