Thank you so much for your kind words and support. Reading your replies over the last week has given me so much comfort. I can now see that I am not going mad and that I really do need to be a little kinder to myself. Talking (via the forum) to people who have 'been there' themselves has been so helpful. I have decided against going for counselling just at the moment, but I will certainly take advantage of these forums when the going gets tough again. Once again, thank you.
Flygirl, I am sorry for the loss of your two angel babies . Please be asured that what you're feeling is completely natural. If you're not ready and patrified of falling pregnant again (we all fear another loss that's why), then please don't try TTC for a while at least till you get yourself emotionally strong again.
I lost my little boy Joshua in October 2008 at 20 weeks, and that was the hardest and most heartbreaking experience I've gone through. I have been, however, seeing a psychologist since late October and she's helpd me heaps in tearms of trying for another baby soon. Although age is not on my side, I wanted to be ready in some sence, to fall pregnant again. I still think I'm going to freak out when it happens, but at the same time I am so looking forward to expanding my family.
If you do decide to do the councelling one day when you're ready, go to your local GP and get a government approved health plan so you pay heaps less for your visits. Also, if you want to receive free councelling, SANDS is fantastic (they have once a month councelling available) and also they can speak to you over the telephone, and also you can get free councelling through medicare (I found that out through a friend).
Best of luck hun, I wish for your pain to ease soon.
B xx
Flygirl, I am so sorry to hear about your losses. The words in your post could of come from me as well. I went through a little rough patch last year, where I thought that I shouldn't actually be on BB and posting in some of the threads because I already had a little girl, but everyone is so kind and caring and supportive and it is just what we need sometimes (IYKWIM). Come on in and vent and cry and get mad anytime you need to, don't suppress any of your feelings, we are all here for you to give you hugs and support through all of your emotions.
I can't say that the pain ever goes away, but it does ease as time goes by. For me today represents two years (wow how quickly time goes by), since my D&C for my lost little angel at 10 weeks, and we are still TTC #2 without any joy so far and I still think about what it would be like to have two precious little children.
Take care of yourself sweetheart and most of all be kind to yourself. Thinking of you.
flygirl, don't suppress your feelings. You have lost two little babies and you have every right to grieve as you see fit.
It is difficult to keep it together sometimes, but the people around you just have to accept that you are grieving and it's not just a matter of 'moving on'. Some people think it is easy to move on, but as mothers carrying babies, we form relationships and bond with them even when they are very little fetuses.
I think you have been extremely brave and having a rest for a bit might be a good thing. Give it a bit of recovery time - I did that. It takes a long time to come back from a m/c both mentally and physically so give yourself time and NEVER feel guilty about how much time you take.
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. Please be asured that what you're feeling is completely natural. If you're not ready and patrified of falling pregnant again (we all fear another loss that's why), then please don't try TTC for a while at least till you get yourself emotionally strong again.
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