i want to ttc asap, he would like to wait

[Kitt3n]

hey guys,

looking for some advice. my DF and i have lost 2 unplanned angels in the last year. I dont want to wait too long to try again - i guess you dont really know what you could have had when its gone. know what i mean?
he would like to wait a little longer - i just feel the longer we wait the longer i will have to wait to go through a potential mc again.
we are going to be referred to a good ob to check us both out - just wondering if any of you had any suggestions for gentle "prodding" to get him to be happy to start ttc?
dont want to be charting or anything - i just want to not be stopping anything from happening, knowing that it could happen? i just think that is so magical.
we (well I) already have a gorgeous little girl from my previous relationship, but my now partner is much more her father than her "real" dad. she is with us 99% of the time and they absolutely adore each other.
i'm sure he will come around soon, and say, ok baby, lets go for it! but in a way i kinda need to know when - it will help me get through losing this one.... any ideas ladies?

[STARRYSKY]

my dp was the same after our mc earlier this year, It wasnt until I burst into tears and made him talk to me that he realised how I felt and how much it meant to me.
I didnt realise how much I was internalising everything, he was as well of course, but just talking helps.
sorry if thats not much to go on.
good luck
xxx

[chris]

Hi
I agree with starrysky. Best to talk to him and work it out together as it is a decesion that both of you have to make, as both of you will have to go and see the Dr to look into the miscarriages. Plus you can't baby dance by yourself!!!
It is best to work as a couple and to trust each other. I think trust is one of the most important things needed in a relationship.

Hope that helps
Chris

[munchy]

Hello chicken

Fisrt of all i am so sorry for your losses. my Dh didnt want to try again after loosing our little girl and after a while we had a talk and the reason for it was he was scared of it all happening again and he said it was horrible watching me go through what i did such as giving birth to her but i reasured him and made everything sound more positive and he said give it a month and we will start trying so we did but i had to wait anyway on tests. but i think even if you say can we talk about trying in a few weeks time just so you have an idea cos it really does help knowing when you can start trying again i hope he comes round honey and that you get to start TTC when you want..

Take care Munchy xxx

[Kitt3n]

Its all good!
my honey is happy to try early next year (say feb/march) when i was hoping to anyway - we just want to get the all clear from the obgyn to say its ok to try.
now its just so much easier! i can relax and have a lovely xmas and new years knowing that we will be trying again soon!
baby dust to all, i am so happy!!
thankyou for your kind thoughts ladies - i guess i just wanted some answers while i was sitting at home still getting over the mc and he was at work - kinda hard to talk, but when he got home we did.

big hugs to you all

[chris]

Hi, I'm glad you sat and had a talk.
I have found that my DH and I are able to talk better than we used to. It was hard at first to sit and get things off my chest but now I feel very comfortable doing so. It has made our rel much stronger and happier.
Good on ya!!!
Cheers
Chris

[bekyj2]

my dp wants to wait alot longer to have children.. the misscarrige really hit him had as it was his first baby he has lots and my 3rd as i had a misscarrige to twins in a previous relationship.... but as we have spoken it about it its still a debate... i say i want to start he says he wants to wait... but if i where u i would be talking about it and just see wat happens..
wishing u all the best.. and sorry to here about your loss....



tyson and kate march 06.
hydie sep 2007..