I'm new to the site, and I'm in the process of a miscarriage in my first pregnancy. I live in the US, and found this site on a search engine. The Australian timing may actually work better for me, since I work a very late shift and I'm up when most people in the US are sleeping. I got married later in life, at the age of 35. We've been married for 2 years now. That puts me in a higher risk category, and it took 18 months from the time I went off the pill to when we conceived. I was so excited to be pregnant after trying so long. I went in for my second appointment at 9 1/2 weeks hoping to hear a heartbeat. When my doctor did the preliminary ultrasound, he gave me the news that the embryo was smaller than it should be. There was no heartbeat that he could find. I went back for a more detailed ultrasound two days later, and the baby only measured at 6 1/2 weeks. The bleeding started a few days later. I had to go to the emergency department at the hospital on the weekend when the bleeding got particularly bad and I felt lightheaded.
I'm now through the worst of the bleeding, though it hasn't stopped completely. I'm very tired of the cramping. Now that the physical symptoms are getting better, the emotions are getting worse. My doctor prescribed an anti-depressant at my request, which I think is helping somewhat, but this disappointment is terrible. My husband is being as supportive as possible, as are our families, but there's only so much that they can do. My mother-in-law has been wonderful--she lost a baby in her first pregnancy, too. I was so excited to be pregnant after trying for so long, and now we'll have to start over again. I know we'll have more opportunities to try to conceive, but that logic can't take away the pain.
I'm trying to keep busy with reading and I started a cross stitch today. I have limited time off work and will have to go back later this week. I'm worried about being an emotional wreck at work, especially in my job in a hospital. I work with medical records and have to see chart after chart of women who have healthy babies. There are some charts with sad stories, but most babies are born without serious problems. I can't begrudge others having a happy ending, especially as I could never wish this experience on anyone, but it's a painful reminder of what I've lost. I suppose the only solution is to take life one day at a time.
I feel a little foolish for announcing our pregnancy before I was out of the first trimester. I didn't think I could hide the symptoms of morning sickness, etc. and there is no prior history of miscarriages in my mother's family. Even my grandmother that had a baby at the age of 41 didn't have serious problems. Now I'm dreading the innocent questions from people who don't know I lost the baby, and worried that it'll make this process even more painful.
I look forward to getting acquainted with others here, and appreciate the kind attitude I've seen in other posts.
welcome to bellybelly!
I'm very sorry for your loss, and hope that you find the support that you need from some of the beautiful ladies on here.
i hope that you recover soon, and that your heart mends, good luck with ttc, when you decide the time is right xoxo
Welcome to BellyBelly, and I'm so sorry that you had to join in such sad circumstances.
It sounds like you already have some good coping mechanisms, by doing your cross stitch and reading (for me it was a 50km bike ride) It might also help you to talk about it a lot, or even just to post around this place or others. There will be lots of people to support you. Big hugs.
sorry to hear about your loss.. sounds like your family are a great support network.. i found talking/typing on these forums to be of great help - i'm sure you will too.
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I too met someone late, when I was 39. I was 40 when we married. We were immensely fortunate to get pregnant soon after and have a reasonably healthy pregnancy and a beautiful daughter. Now 43, we recently attempted to add to the family and after eight months of trying I got pregnant only to lose the baby in very similar circumstances to yourself. I feel I lost this baby because my cycle had become irregular and I was ovulating late in the cycle which is often a lesser quality egg. My recent miscarriage seems to have helped regulate my cycle and I got pregnant again the second cycle after my loss. I feel this baby has a better chance because it wasn't a late ovulation. I'm only about 5 weeks but very hopeful.
I also felt foolish that I told everyone when I was about 10 weeks only to have to tell them a week later that it was gone. I found it easier to text people I knew and to ask good friends to tell other people while I wasn't there so that everyone would know without my having to say things. Have a line ready to say to people if they want to offer condolences so you don't have to get emotional and think about your words.
And remember, this was an awful loss for you but it doesn't mean that any subsequent pregnancy would be the same. If you still want a family you are young enough to try again.
Thanks for the kind welcome. I'm probably going back to work tomorrow, and I'm hoping that I can cope. The cramping and bleeding aren't as bad as they were before, and I don't have much paid time off left to use. I'll have to practice some response for any condolences if I'm to avoid going through an entire box of tissues in my shift.
Now if only I could get the chat to work. Unless only the lounge is open? It seems to have let me in as far as the lounge, but no one else is there. I posted a query about difficulties with the chat registration in the FAQ thread, but haven't seen a reply.
Thanks again for the warm reception. It helps to know that others have been through this as well, not that I'd want that for anyone else.
Sending you many hugs, I am so very sorry for your loss and although a sad time, welcome to Belly Belly.
I went through my miscarrige only last week and it has been the most terrible, sad, scary experience I have ever been through.
Talking about it helps and I have found the support of Belly Belly users has been fantastic.
I cannot tell you things will get better, I am only just going through this and wondering this myself... but the sun surely will start shining again, and your angel baby will come back to you.
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