i am really sorry for all that you are going through not to mention having such an insensitive OB. Do find yourself another one, esp if your current one cannot even care enough about your physical and emotional well being to call and find out why you missed your appointment!
Diabetes is not a barrier to your baby dreams! So search out an OB that will support you in achieving this for you!
Friends in a situation like this are hard and i have found out myself who my true friends were when i lost our baby Jack. it will always be hard and it is true they find it as hard to communicate with us as we do to them. One of my friends summed it up though with saying she told one of her friends that she did'nt expect them to know what to say or how to react but she just needed to hear them say they were there, in any capacity they could be, just to acknowledge that for her. Be honest with them if you can and lean on the ones that will open up for you and use that to get through it yourself!
take your time with your healing...and never blame yourself.
take care, sending you many hugs!
x
Just be really good to yourself right now. Sometimes people assume they know how we feel. You know you're strong sometimes and other times need a break from it all. Cyberhug.
I would have to agree with you, I don't think your diabetes sounds like it is that poorly controlled at all. If you are otherwise healthy with no complications, then it must be under control. And I would also say that you know your body best, it would be presumptuous of me to say that you are doing something wrong, as it was for your ob to say what he did. I think really that any decent doctor will find a way to work around your diabetes to enable you to have a baby, rather than just outright putting the blame back on you for a miscarriage and telling you that you just shouldn't have a baby at all.
Did you know too, that as diabetics we need to be taking high dose folate as well? I didn't know this until after my m/c, I found a snippet about it in a preconception book that I was reading over at the time. I had a word to my diabetes specialist and had some blood tests done then started on 5mg folate daily rather than the normal 500mcg. Your buy it over the counter in the chemist - it's called Megafol 5. Not saying that this had anything to do with your miscarriage either, but after mine I was not willing to take a risk that it might not have been a contributing factor KWIM? I'm pretty doubtful that it was a factor to be honest, seeing as I only took 500mcg of folate when pg with my DD and she turned out alright.
I know exactly what you mean about the attitudes of other being a problem after a m/c too. That was exactly how I felt in the couple of months following mine - I was already so sad about losing our baby and this was only made worse by the dumb reactions and insensitive comments made by a few people. I don't really have any wise advice for you, but to try and ignore the attitudes, the pain inflicted by them does get better with time - it has for me anyway.
Take care of yourself xx
Last edited by nicjay; January 24th, 2008 at 12:07 PM.
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