I am so, so sorry that you lost your beautiful Lilah Grace. Please do not feel bad for finding it easy to talk about her, i think it is wonderful. My SIL lost her beautiful son at 20 weeks and we talk about him all the time. She finds it very comforting and wants us to remember him and use the precious name that she gave him when he was bought into this world that he was just too special for.
My SIL now has a beautiful daughter who will grow up knowing she had a big brother and you will one day be able to hold your precious baby in your arms and he/she will have their very own guardian angel named Lila Grace watching over them.
oh wow ur story is amazing, i am so sorry for your loss u had me in tears!!
i found this poem ages ago and i think it fits perfectly
An Angel from the Book of Life Wrote down the date of Lilah's birth And whispered as she closed the book "Too Beautiful For Earth"
Firstly I am so sorry for your loss, your story is heartbreaking, I wish you all the best with your continued healing. You have been very courageous, and WE will never get sick of hearing about your little lilah grace.
I also wanted to say with respect to your hyperemesis (extreme MS) I too have suffered from it and am just appearing out the other side of it for the second time. If you do decide to TTC again you should consider taking Zofran Zydis (ondansetron). I would not have survived my second pregnancy without it.
The first time round (4 yrs ago) I thought MS was something you just had to endure no matter how bad it got. I really think without the drip in hospital, with the IV maxolon, I would have died from dehydration, followed closely by malnutrition.
This time not even the drip/IV combination would stop me vomiting so my DR suggested zofran, which has NOT been used widely in pregnancy but mainly for chemo patients who also have dreadful nausea. So far it has presented no problems for those that have used it. (Not many people reach the extremes of MS like we have) What I can say is that for me it was a life saver, both physically and mentally. It never took the nausea away completely but it did allow me to take one first thing in the morning and then after an hour or so, get up, have something to eat and drink like there was no tomorrow until somewhere between 11am - 1pm when I would be back in bed with my bucket still very sick,but only about vomiting about 6times until the next morning, instead of at least 12. This was a big improvement for me and it at least enabled enough fluid and food in, to get me through till the next day
I was on the minimum dose of 4mg and only once a day, and now at 17 weeks only take it every second day.
Anyway talk to your doctor about it, there is also some info on the internet, but if you suffer as much next time round, like me, you may feel like it's worth a try.
Hi Tutmae, thankyou for sharing your story of your little angel Lilah Grace. She sounds absolutely beautiful.
I can understand what you mean when you said it feels like it happened to someone else, and you can talk about it easily. I also feel like that, and it is unexpected things (songs that were on the radio at that time, hearing birthdates of kids at playgroup that are very near Thomas' due date) that shake me up. Sometimes I feel weird for talking about it easily (to certain people, I can't talk about it with everyone).
I'm glad you were able to spend time with your baby. They sound like very precious days. I only wish I had spent more time with my son, but I guess we aren't always in the right frame of mind at the time.
Everyone: Thankyou for your kind words. It helps so much to be able to speak about it and have all of you say such beautiful things about Lilah.
Stanas: thankyou for your pm, I wanted to reply personally, but I haven't quite worked out how to do that yet. But I just wanted to say thankyou so much!
MJ-Mummy: I was put on the zofran also (after trying the maxolon drip and tablet) and unfortunately it didn't seem to work as well for me as it did for you. I was on the zofran wafers, though, maybe there is a different type that I can try next time (as the doctors say this is just how my body will react to all my pregnancies). The steroids were amazing, but you cannot take them for an extended period of time and when I came off them the vomiting slowly started coming back. Thankyou for your advice, and I'll speak to my doctor about trying zofran again, next time. Thankyou so much!
Oh Tutmae I just feel so sad reading your post - and so amazed at your woman strength. Your daughter sounds beautiful and I am so sorry you had to say goodbye to her..
Thankyou for sharing your beautiful, sad and courageous story with us all.
I just couldn't believe my eyes when I read you nicknamed your sweet baby girl " Lilah-Bear " ... as I know a wonderful little girl named Lyla (spelt that way) & her parents lovingly nicknamed her Lyla-Bear too ... sadly her Daddy passed away from bowel cancer last November at 25yrs of age
... Such a pretty name you chose for her ... And how beautiful she chose you both to be her parents for her short time here but forever in your hearts she will be !!!
I'm so so sorry. Thank you so very much in finding the courage to share your loving little girl's story to us all.
i am so sorry for your loss and thank you for being able to write it down and share with us.
i think it would be very calming talking about your little girl and if it helps you then dont stop talking about her for anyone
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