I started a thread last week to say that I was about to have my second miscarriage. I had one night where I knew the baby had passed before I started to miscarry naturally. During that night I came to peace with this soul not coming in this time. I was sad, very sad, but I knew everything was going to be ok. DH arrived home in the afternoon and as soon as he stepped into the house the first gush of blood came. I passed the baby quickly. It was a sad moment, but I was relieved that I did not have to wait weeks like last time.

Two hours later things took a turn for the worse, my body started having full on after pains and gushing blood and clots, after some phone calls to get advice we made a dash to the hospital where as I arrived I fell unconscious, I woke up to a room of people working on me and calling my name, after I was stable I endured some manual removal trying to locate why I was still bleeding, this was painful physically and emotionally, I am not sure how I even coped with that, but I did, yet still the bleeding continued... hours later a specialist arrived and started yet another manual removal and found part of the baby lodged in the cervix which was preventing it from closing.... thank-goodness... I was continued under care all night and put in for emergency d&c first thing in the morning. And now after losing over 2lts of blood, I am bed bound trying to recover both in my heart and in my body.

For all the horrific things that happened in the shortened version above, so many little blessings have been bestowed upon me. The love that my DH and I share has just grown, after been shaken to it's core, and him seeing me unconscious and being worked on by medical team, and all that I endured that night, his heart has grown and so has mine. This time, I caught my baby and was able to bury it in the garden with a ceremony, and prayer, this has helped me beyond words, to have something to acknowledge that yes indeed for 13 weeks I did grow a baby and I did feel them with me all that time. I am in awe of what my body did to try and help me, that uterus worked so very hard to gush out what was lodged in my cervix and it did not give up, far out, how incredible the human body is, it never ceases to amaze me. I have a long road to recover physically from what happened, and it is not easy as a mother to lay in bed and just rest, this is made possible by my dedicated husband and supportive community.

To all the women who replied and supported me last week I thank-you so much, due to health I am not sure how much I will be here in the next few weeks, but please know each comment makes a difference when I feel pushed to my limits and unable to go on.