oh darl im so sorry to see u in here ive been there before myself, i still cry about the bub i never had even though i have a bit if hope this time round. I know its hard but just TRY to think about the pros and cons, you said it yourself u wanted to do all these wonderful things and i know from earlier posts u werent in a serious relationship, this by no means makes the loss any less significant but if u can hold onto some sort of positive from this experience it will make it a little bit easier, also this doesnt mean u will not be able to have a baby in the future, every pregnancy is different and having one loss does not increase the chances next time round. If u want to chat feel free to PM me as im often online and would love to help, as for the family thing i can relate i get the looks of dissapointment from my mother and family too even though im engaged and almost 22, so im no stranger there!
I have been where you are now and it is not a nice place. Every day is different. You can have good days and you can have sad ones. Today is a sad day for you and that is okay. It is also okay to have good days.
I know that after I lost my first pregnancy i was scared to have sex again and thought I never would. I was afraid because I didnt want to risk falling pregnant and losing another baby. In my mind the only way to make sure I didnt expereience the pain of a loss was to avoid the slightest possibility of falling pregnant.
I remember not wanting to speak to anybody about it. I ddint want comfort from family and friends. I jsut wanted to be left alone. My little dogs helped me so much aas they would jsut lie there and let me sob into them whilst I cuddled them.
Something I found very therapeutic was to buy a beautiful candle. The most beautiful one I could find. One night about 2 weeks after I miscarried and DP was out, I lit the candle and sat there staring at it and cried my eyes out. I asked all the questions I needed to ask out loud to the candle, I just needed to release what was inside me and it made me feel so much better after. I blew out the candle when I felt it was enough. I still have the candle in a box with the positive preg test. I could never get rid of them.
But life did move on. The sad days become less frequent and I did eventually fall pregnant and have so far nto had any problems. I feel very blessed and know that the little one that I lost is up there looking out for this little one and looking out for me.
Life throws so many challenges at us. No that you can get the support you need from here and that you will have many people here to hold you up when you can't do this yourself.
please take your time. dont feel bad when you are having low bads and dont feel guilty when you have good days..... glad you rambled! thats what we are here for!
ive been there before myself, i still cry about the bub i never had even though i have a bit if hope this time round. I know its hard but just TRY to think about the pros and cons, you said it yourself u wanted to do all these wonderful things and i know from earlier posts u werent in a serious relationship, this by no means makes the loss any less significant but if u can hold onto some sort of positive from this experience it will make it a little bit easier, also this doesnt mean u will not be able to have a baby in the future, every pregnancy is different and having one loss does not increase the chances next time round. If u want to chat feel free to PM me as im often online and would love to help, as for the family thing i can relate i get the looks of dissapointment from my mother and family too even though im engaged and almost 22, so im no stranger there!
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I have been where you are now and it is not a nice place. Every day is different. You can have good days and you can have sad ones. Today is a sad day for you and that is okay. It is also okay to have good days.
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