oh darl im so sorry to see u in here ive been there before myself, i still cry about the bub i never had even though i have a bit if hope this time round. I know its hard but just TRY to think about the pros and cons, you said it yourself u wanted to do all these wonderful things and i know from earlier posts u werent in a serious relationship, this by no means makes the loss any less significant but if u can hold onto some sort of positive from this experience it will make it a little bit easier, also this doesnt mean u will not be able to have a baby in the future, every pregnancy is different and having one loss does not increase the chances next time round. If u want to chat feel free to PM me as im often online and would love to help, as for the family thing i can relate i get the looks of dissapointment from my mother and family too even though im engaged and almost 22, so im no stranger there!