Jo, Jack Nova is a beautiful name for your little boy. and no, it is not crazy that you want to spend every possible second with your baby. my dh and i were the same way. finally, dh had to send Yeti's body away because he saw that i could not bring myself to do it, no matter the physical realities. just allow yourself to crumble, dear, it is all you can do. you will pick up again later when you can. big hugs to you. xxoom