My angel Isaiah

[Manhattan]

Thank you for sharing precious Isaiah's story. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, and at such a young age, and with the people who were supposed to help and guide you actually ignoring you. Much love to you hun

[tk1999]

Thank you for sharing

[JennaJayen]

Thank you for sharing darl, I was in tears reading your story.

Sneding out HUGE hugs to you, you are such a strong woman, you've been through so much and you're still here, still going strong today even when everything was piled up against you.

xx

[BabyWrangler]

I'm just bawling....

Thank you for sharing...

[RainbowBrite]

Thank you for sharing your pregnancy and birth of your precious boys.
I am so sorry that little Isaiah grew wings and you had to go through so much.
Lots of and

[blessedatlast]

I also like your idea of making their 10th birthday special. Would your DS be able to help plan something? Maybe he has an idea for including his brother in the celebrations?

I was thinking that ... Y'know Z&A I know people deal with things differently, but I do think it's good to get it out.. 10yrs is a lot of time to hold pain and trauma within. I hope you have had at least someone you could share with.. You have been very brave to share your story after so long to a bunch of strangers.. (Maybe some of us you 'know' but on a public forum is massive) I feel privileged that I got to hear (read) your story, and I do hope it helps to in your ongoing healing process

[Footsteps]

I am so sorry. I'm sorry nobody listened to you.

Thankyou so much for sharing your beautiful boys with us.

So much love to you.xxx

^^^couldn't have put it better huni.

Iam so very sorry huni...Massive hugs and love x

[*Sparklez*]

Thanks ladies your support has never failed me...

blessed your right, i opened on here cause i know its "no judgement" when i had them alot of people said i wasnt mature enough to make such decisions and god did it for me...
But i dont see it that way at all.. so from past comments i shelter it and keep it with me.
I feel that im close to him and his with me if i keep it all inside itms?
I have his blanket from when they wrapped him and ive never washed and i cant.. dh says i should otherwise it will have to get thrown out but i can still smell him.. ds always tell people his bro is around and that he can talk to him.. bit scary but i hop ehis guiding him.. no one understand and i dont blame them cause i ignore here questions..

Girls i will ask ds what he wants to do about this day he always makes it a point to add isaiahs name on the cake and card etc, when we visit he also has his time with him alone.. he seems to understand it abit more then me..

[blessedatlast]

when i had them alot of people said i wasnt mature enough to make such decisions and god did it for me...

That makes me so angry.. People just have no bloody idea! Them - "it's for the best your child died" Me - "How does f off sound! "

I don't blame you for keeping the blanket babe without washing.. I have so much of the twins stuff. Haven't washed ANY of it.. I have 2 of their blankets on my bed but I can't smell them.. I have Taites CPAP thing that still has dried blood on the nasal prongs .. And for ages I wouldn't wash the top I wore during labour and post birth.. I swear it still smells of breast milk, and that makes me think of being with them...

Just do what you feel is right. You have heaps of support here..

[Jennie13]

thanks for sharing Isaiah's story Im so sorry he couldnt stay with you, you sound like such an amazing mum xo

[*Sparklez*]

thanks jennie
blessed you are so right.. i lost alot of people at that time cause no one could talk to me and they got sick of trying, i didnt want anyone touching sam i wanted everyone to leave me alone and if you knew my mum side they see it as selfish and not mature enough.. thats why i dont really talk to any of them they never gave a s**t so why should i?
I have so much too!! i have a clipping of his hair and his hand prints his blankets his clothes his face washer when i washed him his towel i kept anything and everything.. i did the same with sam its all doubles sam actually still uses his blanket now its always on his bed under his pillow.. i have no idea why but if his hapy im happy..
Thank you so much xoxo
I wish he could was here so i could just keep him but i know its not possible i dont know what it is that wont let me let go, like i said its 10 yrs in april.. not so much let go but be in a good place about it..
im very protective of the situation and shoot people down for mentioning it saying to shut up you dont have an idea what ur talking aabout and they just look back in shock..

[human bean]

I feel honoured to have read Isaiah's story, and I am so sorry for what you have gone through, and that he wasn't able to stay