hi everyone
i just wanted to share my story with you today.
i was 12 weeks and a day and on our way to u/s for the down syndrome testing i had had my blood test done a couple days before.i was very confident that our little bundle of joy was a healthy mover and shaker as i had been bed ridden with morning sickness for the whole 3 months and hadent left the house and i was ravenous with hunger and eating every 45 mins even through the night.i had already put on 10 kilos the pregnancy was impossible to keep quiet as we were beside our selves with happiness we had been trying since our wedding and finally our turn had come.i also started to show at 7 wks.anyway back to the u/s.seeing bub on the screen filled my heart with happiness i had a smile from ear to ear i was suprised that bub wasnt bigger.he sead the words bub only measures 2.5 cm making you 9 wks and 2 days which i knew wasnt right and then came....... im sorry there is no heart beat.this is not a viable pregnancy.i went into shock,i dont think it hit me for atleast 15 mins.i couldnt feal my legs.we drove home and screamed and cryed i had no idea what was to happen now and how bub was ging to come out,we called doctor and drove straight in was put into a room by ourselves for almost an hour.then finally a doctor,i was a blubbering mess and couldnt get any questions out.he sent us up the coast to another doctor at 4pm i had no idea what was happening there.he told me i nead a d &c and i could get in tomorrow .that night was the worst night of my life carying my child dead.i had no sign of misscariage i was still ill the morning of u/s.im still bleeding from d&c and my boobs are still sore and massive.my hormones are all over the shop.i find comfort in hubby and my mum who are my strength.i dont think ill ever get over it.i feel its so unfair.i want to try again i dont know what ill do if i cant be a mum.i have 2 cats and i treat them like my babies.i can only hope that good things come to those who wait and that our little darling bub knows that it was loved from the moment of conception to when its tiny heart stopped.
bighug to everyone else out there,thinking of you all.