I am really sorry to hear what you have being going through and the loss of your precious baby. I can relate to some of how you are feeling especially working with pregnant people and as there care giver it can be hard to get out it. Like Fiona said it feels like a real kick in the guts and why them and not you. I feel like I am in a similar situation so I can relate to how you are feeling and working as a midwife (or RN) really doesn't help work is no distraction from what is happening. Its strange how the grief feels like its getting worse. I think with time and when your ttc and it hasn't happened again in the time frame we want its an even bigger reminder what we have lost. Really thinking of you and you concieve again soon and have a trouble free pregnancy