Hello Everyone!

I am new to this forum and I am just learning how all this posting works. I am 23 years old and my husband and I will be married one year in June. Back in October we found out some surprising news. I was six weeks out from my last period and I had just gotten off BC three months prior. My mom told me to take a preg test and I told her there was no way I could be pregnant as we were using protection. Well three tests later I indeed was pregnant.

I always wanted to be a mom and looked forward to the day I would become one. I had a rough life growing and I have always been excited to give a child a great life. I went to my ultrasound and they found out I was only four weeks. I had to go back in two weeks to see the fetal heartbeat. We went back at seven weeks and the heart beat was slow at 91-93 beats per minute. The doctor wanted me back yet again in two weeks to check the heart beat again.

I work in an ER as a Registered Nurse and three days before my next appointment I was working and started to bleed bright red. I had to stop working and be seen. They sent me home that night with instructions on a threatened misscarriage. I went to the doctor on my scheduled date that Thursday and we recieved bad news.

The baby's heart had stopped beating. I had a d and c the following day. The date was December 5 and I was between nine and ten weeks pregnant. The thing is we have been trying to concieve since February and my mentrual cycles have been a mess since then. When it all first happened I took it very well. I didn't cry much I just kinda brushed it off and continued on with life. Now it has been 5 months and I am a wreck!!

I cry about it all the time. I have even had to leave a couple of my patients rooms that were pregnant because I almost started crying. I just can't seem to get over it. I pray every day God will help me find peace and it never comes. Now my sister inlaw is 8 weeks pregnant and I am trying so hard to be happy for them. The more she tells me the more I cry and ask God why this had to happen to me!!!!

I am sorry if I am going on and on here. I have a wonderful husband who has given me wonderful support but, guys are not like us. He doesn't talk about it like I do. Not many of my friends or family have been threw it so i really don't have many people to talk to about it.

I guess I just don't know how to move on???????????????????

I am really glad I found this forum. Please keep me in your prayers!!