new and sad

[dd0207]

Wow it's just overwhelming how many women have been through late losses. It's just not something you expect or hear about until you read these sad stories. This forum is a wonderful place and you discover that you are not alone.

Lauraemma I am so sorry about your loss and my thoughts are with you too. What a lovely thought that our boys are playing together in heaven, it really touched my heart.

brcttabitha & kristi, I am so sorry for your losses and your tragic experiences. I can't believe these doctors put every pain down as "normal". I wonder how many of our angels would have survived if only they took more care. It's so upsetting and unfair. Krsti I'm so glad you got extra special care with your next pregnancy. I will be insisting to be checked at least once a week with my next and will be as neurotic as I please!!

brcttabitha I am so glad that you are seeing another OB. There are NO 2ND CHANCES in my book. Keep us posted after your appt with her.The memorials you are doing for your 2 little angels is just beautiful. My DH and I got our son baptised as well and we buried him with my mum who passed away just over a year ago. Seeing his coffin placed next to hers was the 2nd saddest moment of my life but it brings me some comfort that they are together.

[kristi14]

brcttabitha- I agree, first pregnancy or 10th pregnancy, a mother should be treated with care and respect at all times and not brushed aside. Its amazing how before you are in the situation, you always think you wouldnt be able to cope with things like you did, like having to give birth knowing your little ones wouldnt make it. But when you are there, you seem to get through it. I was the same. After i found out our little one had passed, i shocked myself that i wasnt in a hurry to get her out. I really feel for you with your precious twins, Im so sorry that by the time you got to hold them or see them they had already passed. Sending you all the strength you need right now. Thanks for the congrats, she is the result of one extremely stressed out, worrysome pregnancy but all worth it. I hope you are holding one or two healthy babies very soon.

dd0207-

Krsti I'm so glad you got extra special care with your next pregnancy. I will be insisting to be checked at least once a week with my next and will be as neurotic as I please!!

ABSOLUTELY!! You make sure you do. I did. I saw my OB weekly around the time i lost my baby (so from 14 to 21wks) and any other time i said to her i was stressed and needed to come in a week instead of a fortnight. I saw her fortnightly if i didnt see her weekly. She was fantastic and extremely patient and kind. She had gone through the loss with me (she wasnt at fault so i stayed with her) and delivered her, so she did everything in her power to help keep me calm and happy. I found the mw's to be fantastic too and anytime i saw any of them for monitoring or something they would tell me if i was worried about anything, no matter how trivial, to make sure i ring and they would be more than happy to check me over. It was nice to be made to feel my anxiety was warranted and not just "silly and over reactive". Sending you lots of strength. I hope you are holding a happy healthy little bundle soon.

[brcttabitha]

dd0207-ty, yes i also wonder how many of our angels would of survived is dr's would of just taken up seriously, i will also be making sure dr's see me more often an demand to be seen when something seems out of the norm, hubby didn't want me switching OB's but i insisted, i wasn't going to go back to mine knowing i wasn't taken care of the way i should of been, there's no way i would of felt comfortable seeing her, yeah since we didn't have a funeral for our babies i was trying to figure out a way to honor there memory, so that's when i came up with the releasing of balloons, sorry to hear bout your loss of your mother, but she's taking care of your lil one until it comes time for you to join him.

Kristi14-yes no matter what number pregnancy dr's should take every one seriously, i had to switch OB's there was no way i could feel safe seeing her after what we went thru, yes it is sad that my babies had already passed away by the time i was able to see and hold them but i was happy that they were alive when hubby seen and held them, everytime they wold move inside me and i would call him over to come and feel they would stop moving, so in a way it was a good thing that he was able to hold them and feel them move after they were born even though it was for only a few minutes or so.

i will definitely keep you guys updated on how it goes when i meet with new OB next month and let you guys know when plan on trying to get preggo again.

brtcttabitha

[stanas]

I too am so so sorry for your loss. I'm sending you lots of :hugs: hugs:

We also lost our first child, our daughter Ava, at 18 weeks 4 days. None of the drs I have spoken with will say if it was IC or not and are not willing to put in the stitch either. I had very painful cramps for a week before my waters broke. Noone at the hospital checked to see if I was dialating or an ultrasound, nothing. Was sent home to wait and go into labour. 11 day later still nothing, was induced after u/s confirmed not a drop of fluid.

I also think that putting in the stitch and not needing it is better than them saying again, oops, we should have put the stitch in for you this time.

We have been trying for 2 months but it took us 14 months to fall with Ava anyway. My new Ob wants to see me weekly. And yes I will be one of those crazy pregnant ladies if any of the same signs start next time.

Hope you get what you need from your Dr. If you have more quieries I'm here anytime.
Take care and happy baby dancing!

Ava Lesley 18 weeks 4 days
Stanas

[dd0207]

brcttabitha, thanks I too like to think of my boy in my mum's arms.
krisit, how long after your loss did you fall pregnant?

Stanas, thanks for the hugs, I certainly need them. I am so sorry for your loss too. What a beautiful name, if I had had a girl that is the name I chose. How long ago did you lose her?
Can't believe the hospital sent you home without doing any tests! How awful for you. From what I know, doctors won't put a stitch in until they are certain you have IC and IC can only really be diagnosed if they see your cervix funnelling or dilating on ultrasound during pregnancy (which was the case with me) but since they didn't bother to check yours beforehand (still can't believe that!), you can't confirm that you have it. You are in such a bad situation trying to convince your new OB to put a stitch in but like you, I believe it is better to be safe than sorry. I think you're going to have to really insist and do what you feel is right with your next pregnancy. OBs try to avoid it because of the potential risks but without it, the risk of losing another baby is just not something I'm prepared to take. My prayers and thoughts are with you and I hope you get to share some great news with us soon!

[AngelLukesmum]

Thanks for your message dd.

Oh my gosh I am so so surprised at your bad experience with sids & kids. For what it is worth, I have been attending the monthly stillbirth meetings and they have been great. The lady who runs it is lovely and the women are all great. I have made some very good friends from that group. I have decided to stop attending for now though as I think I need some happy stories around me and will go to their subsequent pg after loss group and see what that is like.

My cycles were not too bad after losing Luke. I think I got my first period 6 weeks after his birth and then they were a bit all over the place in terms of length - anything from 23 days to about 35 days. I started taking a pre-conception vitamin & found that good as before I had Luke my cycles could be as long as 41 days. In fact when I fell pg with him I hadn't had a period for 3 months
Unlike you though I didn't need 2 curettes - that must have been terrible just to add on top of the already awful situation. I think I was about to be taken to theatre for my placenta but my ob turned up and decided to save me a trip and removed it manually. Let me tell you, that was more painful than anything! I don't know if we are allowed to say names, I guess they will remove it if we aren't, but my ob is Dr Bell from Castle Hill.

Good luck tomorrow with your doc appt and hope everything is okay. I would be worried too with the bleeding. Maybe your cervix is still recovering from the shock of birth, surgery, infection etc and needs some very tender loving care for a while

My stitch will be put in at the end of the month and I will def keep you posted on how that goes. Let me know how you go at the doc tomorrow too.
Sending you a big

[dd0207]

I don't know why they were so slack in getting back to me but I am sure they are very supportive. I think it's a great idea to switch to the other group and share this new journey with other women who are in the same situation as you. Good luck and I hope you find lovely friends there too.

The OB that delivered my son wasn't Dr Bell but I have heard great things about him. How awful for you to have to have your placenta taken out manually without any pain relief... but I guess after giving birth, nothing really compares does it??

It is so hard to keep track of your fertile times when your cycles get so out of whack. I was like clock-work before so it's very frustrating. I'm hoping its nothing serious but I'm so paranoid these days!

Thanks for your good wishes, I will let you know what the OB says. BIG BIG HUGS

[dd0207]

Hi ladies, hope you're enjoying your weekend and are all well.

AngelLukesmum, I saw my OB on Friday and you were right - just some inflammation of the cervix but everything else looks good. He took some bloods to see where my cycle is at and the results came back normal and I'm approaching LH surge. I got to see my maturing follicle on u/s as well and I measured 15mm. Said I should be ovulating in the next 36 hours or so... Ah the technicalities of it all. Don't forget to keep me posted on how things go for you. Thinking of you

[dd0207]

sorry, i somehow posted the above twice so i deleted the text but don't know how to delete the whole entry?

[kristi14]

Stanas- Sorry to hear of your loss. Sending you lots of strength. I hope you are blessed with another miracle soon.

dd0207- We lost Rubee mid september, i wanted to start trying straight away, so a week later we started trying . October and November didnt work. December i started bleeding but it wasnt normal, it was sort of lighter than normal and it wouldnt stop. Something made me test about 3 wks into the bleeding, i dont know what, because i was bleeding, but i tested and it came up positive. Because of the bleeding they checked my hcg levels and after a few days they were lowering but very slowly. In mid January i underwent surgery because it was ectopic. It didnt stop me though, i got straight back up and tried again. I waited one normal cycle after the surgery and then we tried again and i fell straight away in the March. I went on to have a healthy little girl. So it was 5 to 6 mths from when i lost Rubee, with an ectopic in the middle of that. My OB said i wouldnt have even ovulated in the first 2 mths after the loss.

[dd0207]

You have been through so much and i'm terribly sorry about your loss after Rubee. I'm so glad that you were able to fall relatively quickly after that tragedy and have a beautiful little girl. Wish me luck, DH and I are going to start trying tonight!!

[kristi14]

Thanks

Starting tonight? Thats good, i really hope it goes well Wishing you the best of luck and hoping you get a bfp very soon.

If you need anything, feel free to pm me.