Not sure how to feel right now...

[mummum73]

Hi, I'm writing this thread because I'm just not sure how to feel. I just feel numb & tired at the moment.
Y'day was a surreal day. At 9wks 2days pg, I started to slightly bleed at lunchtime. I went to see my GP straight away who organised an ultrasound after doing an internal check herself. My cervix was still closed so we were hopeful.
DH came home so he could come with me & u/s showed that baby had stopped growing about a wk before & no heartbeat was present. I think the saddest thing though is that we could see the little one clearly on the screen.
So now I'm booked in to have a D&C with my OB that I'm yet to meet this coming Fri & sitting here at the moment still suffering slight bleeding & just not really sure how I should feel. I have my DS to focus on but aside from him, I don't really feel like venturing out as I feel stuck between 2 worlds, waiting for Fri to 'finalise' things.
Just thought I'd post here so i could get out what I was feeling.

[butterfly*kisses]

I am so sorry for your loss.

:hugs:

[AJC]

mummum73 - I am so sorry for your loss. I had a missed m/c last year, I was supposed to be 9wks 2 days on the day of the ultrasound but bub had passed away at 8wks 4 days. We could see little arms and legs but no heartbeat. We were devastated. I had my d&c the following day but after I went home that evening I didn't leave the house for about 3 days and had a full week off work. Even when I finally did it was just to go to the supermarket for a few things. If you don't want to go out before Friday then don't. I did also feel like the d&c 'finalised things' as you put it so it wasn't until then that I felt I could start my recovery. It will be tough, it's an effort to get out of bed most mornings (at first) but it does get easier. The pain never goes away but you just learn how to live with it - time is the only thing that can really ease the emotional pain.

After my first m/c I didn't talk about it with anyone other than DH. I think this was a bad move (for me) so second time around I told a few close friends and being able to talk about it really helped so you've taken a big step already by joining BB. There are lots of ladies in here who have suffered a m/c loss, our stories may be similar or different but we all share the same feeling of loss.

Allow yourself time to grieve, all of the feelings you will experience are totally normal and I found that until I accepted that I struggled. Anger and jealousy (seeing others pg or with bubs when it 'should' have been me) were the ones I found toughest.

Lastly - Huge

[DoubleK]

Hi Annie, im so sorry to hear about your loss, i was iny our position only a week ago, and i all i can do is give you a hug!

i also found that talking about it helped heaps, and BB is a great way to start!!

best wishes to you, i hope you feel better soon, just take your time to grieve, amybe you could do something in memory of your baby. all i have done is write down a journal type thing for the 5-6 days where i was in hospital/check ups/ultrasounds etc and ive put in all in an envelope, along with some pamphets/ info i have printed off the internet. im going to keep it in the drawer next to my bed, im sure over time, i will find it easier to re-read..

:hugs: to you again

Rach

[Emmy-Lou]

Annie...also am so sorry for your loss, as you know you are not alone here, we are all her for you whenever you need our support. Please know all the emotions you feel are completely normal and take time to grieve the loss of your lil one.
Not a day goes by that I don't think of my lil ...
Take Care
xoxoxx

[mummum73]

Thank you so much for your support today... everyone here in BB is amazing.
This afternoon ended up going a little pear shaped and I ended up having things 'finalised' this evening as a result. I must admit that I do feel a little better that I now don't have to wait until Friday although this afternoon is an experience i would never wish on anyone.
I know I'm sure to have my ups & downs in the coming days & weeks even but I am so grateful that I have the support of wonderful people here in BB as well as the friends I have managed to tell who are there for me at a moments notice.
Thanks again - you're messages above have helped. xx

[SHELL 70]

Hi Annie, so sorry to hear your sad news! Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and your family. Take care of each other, big hugs... xo