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Thread: Not sure how to feel right now...

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Mar 2008
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    Default Not sure how to feel right now...

    Hi, I'm writing this thread because I'm just not sure how to feel. I just feel numb & tired at the moment.
    Y'day was a surreal day. At 9wks 2days pg, I started to slightly bleed at lunchtime. I went to see my GP straight away who organised an ultrasound after doing an internal check herself. My cervix was still closed so we were hopeful.
    DH came home so he could come with me & u/s showed that baby had stopped growing about a wk before & no heartbeat was present. I think the saddest thing though is that we could see the little one clearly on the screen.
    So now I'm booked in to have a D&C with my OB that I'm yet to meet this coming Fri & sitting here at the moment still suffering slight bleeding & just not really sure how I should feel. I have my DS to focus on but aside from him, I don't really feel like venturing out as I feel stuck between 2 worlds, waiting for Fri to 'finalise' things.
    Just thought I'd post here so i could get out what I was feeling.


  2. #2

    Join Date
    Mar 2005
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    Darwin, NT
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    I am so sorry for your loss.

    :hugs:

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Oct 2007
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    1,282

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    mummum73 - I am so sorry for your loss. I had a missed m/c last year, I was supposed to be 9wks 2 days on the day of the ultrasound but bub had passed away at 8wks 4 days. We could see little arms and legs but no heartbeat. We were devastated. I had my d&c the following day but after I went home that evening I didn't leave the house for about 3 days and had a full week off work. Even when I finally did it was just to go to the supermarket for a few things. If you don't want to go out before Friday then don't. I did also feel like the d&c 'finalised things' as you put it so it wasn't until then that I felt I could start my recovery. It will be tough, it's an effort to get out of bed most mornings (at first) but it does get easier. The pain never goes away but you just learn how to live with it - time is the only thing that can really ease the emotional pain.

    After my first m/c I didn't talk about it with anyone other than DH. I think this was a bad move (for me) so second time around I told a few close friends and being able to talk about it really helped so you've taken a big step already by joining BB. There are lots of ladies in here who have suffered a m/c loss, our stories may be similar or different but we all share the same feeling of loss.

    Allow yourself time to grieve, all of the feelings you will experience are totally normal and I found that until I accepted that I struggled. Anger and jealousy (seeing others pg or with bubs when it 'should' have been me) were the ones I found toughest.

    Lastly - Huge

  4. #4
    DoubleK Guest

    Default

    Hi Annie, im so sorry to hear about your loss, i was iny our position only a week ago, and i all i can do is give you a hug!

    i also found that talking about it helped heaps, and BB is a great way to start!!

    best wishes to you, i hope you feel better soon, just take your time to grieve, amybe you could do something in memory of your baby. all i have done is write down a journal type thing for the 5-6 days where i was in hospital/check ups/ultrasounds etc and ive put in all in an envelope, along with some pamphets/ info i have printed off the internet. im going to keep it in the drawer next to my bed, im sure over time, i will find it easier to re-read..

    :hugs: to you again

    Rach

  5. #5

    Default

    Annie...also am so sorry for your loss, as you know you are not alone here, we are all her for you whenever you need our support. Please know all the emotions you feel are completely normal and take time to grieve the loss of your lil one.
    Not a day goes by that I don't think of my lil ...
    Take Care
    xoxoxx

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Mar 2008
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    Melbourne
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    Thank you so much for your support today... everyone here in BB is amazing.
    This afternoon ended up going a little pear shaped and I ended up having things 'finalised' this evening as a result. I must admit that I do feel a little better that I now don't have to wait until Friday although this afternoon is an experience i would never wish on anyone.
    I know I'm sure to have my ups & downs in the coming days & weeks even but I am so grateful that I have the support of wonderful people here in BB as well as the friends I have managed to tell who are there for me at a moments notice.
    Thanks again - you're messages above have helped. xx

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Mar 2008
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    Country Victoria
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    Hi Annie, so sorry to hear your sad news! Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and your family. Take care of each other, big hugs... xo

  8. #8

    Join Date
    Feb 2005
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    Boyne Island
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    Seeing them on the screen is one of the hardest things imo. I have been there too so I understand how you are feeling. sorry for your loss

  9. #9

    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    Coburg -Melbourne
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    Annie - OMG, I am so sorry. I can't believe we both have DS of the same age and both due with No2 on about same day and now both lost on same day ( I had D&C yesterday too). I hope you are recovering ok and have someone to occupy DS right now. I know I can't really deal with mine atm. I love him to death but I just need some time alone. May we both find ourselves in another pg thread soon and stay in there for the long haul

  10. #10

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    Melbourne
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    Meredith - I'm so sorry too. You've actually been in my thoughts and I saw your thread too. I have my DH home today which has been good for me & the 3 of us have been for a walk. I'm still unsure how to feel but i guess that's completely normal. There have been waves of different emotions which I'm sure there are still more waves to come. So I can completely understand how you are feeling at the moment. Good idea to have your DS looked after... you deserve 'me time' right now.
    Big hugs to you & I hope we do find each other in another pg thread too soon.
    xx

  11. #11

    Join Date
    Nov 2005
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    LA LA Land
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    I am so sorry to read of your loss.

    Hugs and best wishes
    Debbie

  12. #12

    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Perth WA
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    I'm so sorry to hear about your loss! Take care of yourself!

  13. #13

    Join Date
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    Hun its such a terrible time and i know how your feeling. I too had to wait for a D&C after my first m/c. Nothing i say will make your pain go away or lesson, but i just wanted you to know that i am thinking of you today.

    Please be kind to yourself and take the time to honour your little one.

    treelo

  14. #14

    Default

    Hi Annie

    Like Meredith and yourself I had a D&C today after a missed miscarriage. My bub had almost disappeared (after a h/b at 7 weeks). No symptoms at all. I also have a DD who is 17 months.

    May we all be blessed very soon with a healthy baby.

  15. #15

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    Mar 2008
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    Melbourne
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    Maybe Baby - I send you big hugs too at this time. I hope your DD gives you extra cuddles & kisses this week & yes, may we all be blessed with a healthy baby soon. Take care of yourself.

  16. #16

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
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    Milton Keynes ( England )
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    Just wanted to say how sorry i am to hear of your loss i lost my second baby on feb 25th i had slight bleeding like yourself went for a scan i was ment to be 10 weeks but they said that babys heart had stopped at 7.4 days i could see baby on screen i got a u/s pic and you can see it so clearly i was booked in for a D&C but had to wait a week so in that time i ended up passing baby myself it was the most sureal thing as my baby came out as a whole sack and i could see it inside it was so sad to have to flush it away i still feel guilty my emotions are still up and down it is hard i think us women are amazing how we just get through such sad times sorry again for your loss i hopr that you get a well deserved BFP soon tak care honey.

    Munchy xxx

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