we had been TTC for a year when we got our first magical BFP Oct 2002, sadly 4 short weeks later it was found to be a ectopic I had to make what I thought at the time was the hardest decision of my life, to end that pg with a injection, although I know my little angel had no hope it still devastated me to make the decision we had to wait 3months

so 3months came and 4 cycles later we got another magical BFP May 2003I was very sick this time round but all was in the right spot etc, went for my 20 week scan to find out my precious little girl suffered from the worst NTD and was neevr destined to be on this earth so I made the heartbreaking decision to induce my beautiful Katy Rose @ 21 weeks gestation(23-9-03) this is and will always be the hardest and most soul breaking thing I have ever had to do

we began TTC straight away unfortunatly nature wasn't working for us after a year we sought medical help 3 cycle later Feb 05 we were pg but this pg went undiagnosed until we were told I was m/c @ 7 weeks

we took a small break for testing and began TTC again may 05 I got my beautiful BFP in Aug 05 everything was going great until 10 weeks when I began to spot and like my sister (aussienic) that image of a perfect baby but oh so still will forever be with me

again we stepped up to the plate to see what would be thrown at us 2 cycles and those beautiful lines appeared again, I was scared I was nervous but also so calm 9 very long and some scary moments later my beautiful dream came true int he shape of a gorgeous little boy, he is now 13.5mths and the light of our lives

I was ready to give up after each and every loss but some how somewhere I knew my angel was waiting for me, and when I look at him now I know he was worth all the heartache.

I will never forget my 3 tiny angels nor my beautiful daughter but without them I would never be the mother I am now

it is hard but Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known.

BTW I am not religious but that last part is my favourite saying at the moment

:hugs: