Hey Morgan, I'm so sorry sweetie . I know how hard it is to long for a baby, but at the same time be scared out of your mind as you've experienced the worst possible pain of losing a baby and being so afraid of it happening again. I think this fear will live with us for a long time, but such are the shoes we walk in, we are no longer naive of being pg, we are always on the look out for something to go wrong again.
I think we have to put more faith in our bodies, as I believe they are an amazing thing, and chances are next time we'll be OK.
Honey, talk to your doc next time about wanting to fall pg again, he might put you on some special pg vitamins etc. I would also very much recommend a grief councillor as they can really help you to overcome your fear of falling again, and restore your faith in yourself again! I have been seeing a psychologist since my own loss, and they are not cheap, but I know there is some great free councelling like SANDS or Sids and Kids.
Sending you many hugs and thinking of you xxx