Adele,
I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious little man Charles James.
Please know I am here for you if you ever need to talk, vent, cry or scream.
You're very right in taking it one day at a time. Allow yourself time to grieve and to do whatever feels right. For me, I screamed into my pillow until I was purple in the face, I cried until I felt sick, and I didn't leave the house or talk to anyone. That was my way of dealing with losing Noah. We all grieve differently, but as you said, you can't fight it, just ride it out.
Thinking of you and keeping you in my heart.
Lisa
Honey, did you get any answers? I am sweating on the results of the investigation. Did you have a cerclage for your next pregnancy. Sorry if it is painful to ask, all I can think about is getting pregnant again.
Thanks
A
Welcome to Belly Belly Adele - I am so sorry to read of the loss of your son Charles.
It is very difficult for people to "get it" - many just don't understand - but sadly (or thankfully) you will find many of us who truly understand.
I am glad you were treated kindly and with respect - where to go from here is always so difficult/confusing. I am sure you will find lots of loving support from the wonderful women in here.
dellydoo--I'm so sincerely sorry for the loss of your angel son Charles Thank you for sharing your story with us. While I know it was very painful to share, I hope that it helped in some small way in releasing it onto paper... I know for me it was terribly hard sharing my story, and I sobbed the whole time I wrote it, but I felt so relieved afterwards, like some weight had been lifted off my shoulders. And the amazing support I received from the great women here at BB is what helped me find a thread that I felt comfortable in--you posted in it the other day--it's absolutely the best, most amazing girls you'll ever meet! I that you find all the support and comfort you need to get thru this time, please remember we're all here to help you get thru it. Feel free to vent, whine, cry, ask questions--we've been there and remember all too well the sadness and loneliness that can be so overwhelming. I wish you all the best on your journey, and I look forward to getting to know you should you decide to hang around in the TTC after m/c thread! Sending big You're in my thoughts and
Hi Jen
It was really tough to write it but the words had been hanging around in my head driving me crazy and I was scared I would just unload all this pain on to my friends/family and it frightened me too much - how would they possibly understand.
BB seemed the safe way to go and I am so glad I did. I get up in the morning and sit at my computer and am just glad to read that out there in the world; someone got some good news, someone got some much needed support and everyone gets welcomed. I will be in TTC full time soon!
Flowerchild - thanks so much for the welcome, I am humbled by the support I have received.
Have a wonderful Sunday and Fathers Day!
Love
Adele
Hi dellydoo,
I am so so sorry for your loss. I really do hope you get some answers to what happened. There is nothing so say to take the pain away. Just take one day at a time and know that everyone at BB is here to help/listen.
I went through a very similar thing. My waters broke at 17 1/2 weeks. I had to be induced 11 days later. If I can help in anyway at all please don't hesitate.
Stanas - thank you so much and I am so very sorry for your loss - Ava is such a beautiful name.
It is getting easier but I still have lots of downtime and I keep thinking I should go back to work to take my mind off things. Am still a little sore and still bleeding a little. Did you get any reasons? I hate not knowing.
Hugs
A
Hi Adele. Don't hurry back to work unless you feel ready. I went back to work within a week and wish I had given myself more time. I think thats why I had my little melt down last week.
I want you to know that, for me, this week things look better and I feel stronger, mainly because of what you said about not fighting grief but just riding it out. I'm touched that you could reach out through your own grief and help me in mine. Now that I feel in a place to return the favour, I'm here if you need me...
Hey dellydoo, unfortunately we didn't get any answers and the docs told us to stop looking. Yeah right! One doctor told us and this is his words "***t happens". It constantly played on my mind for the first 8 weeks or so. I read anything and everything but found no real causes. I did have a lot of bleeding weeks before but not one particular reason for the waters breaking.
Ava's tissue test results were fine as well. There is not a great deal of research I found that was under 20 weeks. Mainly pPROM (preterm premature rupture of membrane) studies around 24 weeks onwards. I am sorry I couldn't tell you I got results but all that got me through the answer stage was holding onto the precious 4 hours we had our daughter in our arms.
I had about 5 weeks off but you will know yourself when its time. Working with customers is a little tougher but you will know in yourself. We can't run and hide when we need a minute.
Your in my thoughts
Stanas Ava Lesley 18 weeks 4 days
Hannah I am so pleased that something I said helped. I worry that I rave a lot of the time! Thank you so much for your sweet offer, I think I need you guys now more than before.
Stanas - Thanks for being so honest, I know it is unlikely that I will get anything I just wish they could say to me that's it - that is what you did so I don't do it again. Or if they can tell me that a stitch will guarantee the safety of my next pregnancy. We have to go back to IVF and part of me wonders if that was my chance.
Sorry being a bit maudlin now - must think positively and all that!
Love
Adele
Registered User
Thank you for sharing your story with us. While I know it was very painful to share, I hope that it helped in some small way in releasing it onto paper... I know for me it was terribly hard sharing my story, and I sobbed the whole time I wrote it, but I felt so relieved afterwards, like some weight had been lifted off my shoulders. And the amazing support I received from the great women here at BB is what helped me find a thread that I felt comfortable in--you posted in it the other day--it's absolutely the best, most amazing girls you'll ever meet! I
that you find all the support and comfort you need to get thru this time, please remember we're all here to help you get thru it. Feel free to vent, whine, cry, ask questions--we've been there and remember all too well the sadness and loneliness that can be so overwhelming. I wish you all the best on your journey, and I look forward to getting to know you should you decide to hang around in the TTC after m/c thread! Sending big
Ava Lesley 18 weeks 4 days
Thank you so much for your sweet offer, I think I need you guys now more than before.
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