Last Tuesday my obstetrician sat on my bed and said "You are going to have a baby today". I always thought I would hear those words in the midst of an amusing story that you can then relate to your family, friends and children - when DP took you to the hospital and you had your beautiful baby. But No.
My waters broke on Sunday 2 weeks ago when I was 17w 4d. We were told that I had lost most of my fluid and usually mothers went into labor within 72 hours - our chances were less than 5%. I have never seen my DP cry but we both lost it when we heard this. Our first child after 3 rounds of IVF - surely they could be wrong.
I was put on total bedrest and was monitored every 4 hours. I have to say the staff at Mater Mothers - Antenatal in Brisbane were just the most amazing people they held my hand, cried with me and could not do enough for the fretful woman in room 902.

Still in hospital, I went to bed on Monday night alone as DP had flown back to Sydney for work. I woke at 2.30am desperate to go to the bathroom. There was bleeding and I was in pain. I tried to convince myself it was nothing and even tried to go back to sleep. I let the nurse know but tried to make it sound less serious than it was. We both knew.
At 6.30am I was in true pain and my obstetrician was called and she said those fateful words.
Charles James was born at 4.45pm 26/08/08. He was perfect and even though he was so tiny you could see he would have looked like his father.
The last week has been a blur - I had to drop out of Uni (I left a high stress job to start studying when I found out I was pregnant) and I honestly do not have a clue what I want to do with my life.
Today has been hard and I made sure I was asleep for 4.45pm.

I am so lucky to be surrounded by wonderful friends and family but sometimes I find myself wondering if anyone gets how painful this really is.
I just needed to write this today.
Thanks
Adele