Ready to share our story of loss.....

**Aries** · May 24th, 2009, 11:13 AM

The day of our scan at 21 weeks started off beautifully.

I had the day off and DH was to meet me in the afternoon. My Mother-in-Law and I did some shopping after lunch looking at some prams and baby furniture, and I was feeling every bit the mummy-to-be gazing at all the beautiful baby things in the stores.

My Mum and DH's Mum were coming to our scan - first grandchild (and a very long awaited one might I had!), they were very excited to be part of it. DH and I were called in first to do the nitty gritty measurements and things before showing off our bundle. We were in there for approx 3 minutes. I knew as soon as the ultrasound was turned on and my belly was up on the screen that our baby had gone.

The sonographer asked how much movement had I felt - which I replied 'heaps', and while he was doing the head circumference and leg measurements hubby was getting quite excited but I was feeling horrible. The measurements werent matching our dates. The sonographer put up the heartbeat monitor on the screen and there was nothing. My fears confirmed. DH was in shock and went out to tell our Mums.

We went home that night absolutely devastated. After four years of TTC and getting halfway through a dream pregnancy, we were shattered.

I was induced the next day at noon and Alexander was born at 11.15pm, with all of our families rallying around us right to the end. I had a few complications after the birth which now has resulted in an elective ceaser for future children but now I have recovered well. Our families have been so wonderful and I really think that it has helped us cope with all of the arrangements and things that had to be done.

We are still awaiting autopsy results which we felt were necessary in case there is something we have to do before trying again, but are feeling all in all positive. I have to say that I never dreamed this would happen to us and have been through all of the processes. We feel like a wise old couple now - our outlook on the little things has changed dramatically. We are stronger than ever and look forward to the day when we can make Alexander a big brother in heaven.

I would like to take the opportunity the thank my belly-buddies group who have been wonderful and I wish them the best of luck for September, cant wait to read their announcements.

I hope to join the TTC threads in the next few months, and hope to chat to others in similar situations.

Thanks for reading our story - it feels good to get it out.

**blessedatlast** · May 24th, 2009, 11:21 AM

So sorry for the loss of Alexander.. You will get lots of support in here, good luck for when you TTC again..

**MistyFying** · May 24th, 2009, 11:33 AM

I'm so sorry your precious Alexander passed away

**Macca79** · May 24th, 2009, 11:36 AM

I am so sorry for the pain you must be going through. I hope your family are able to find comfort in each other during such a heartbreaking time.

**Miss.B** · May 24th, 2009, 11:52 AM

Aries, I am so sorry and saddened by your loss of baby Alexander. Thank you for sharing your story hun, I know it's not easy. I too, lost my little son at almost 21 weeks last year, I still miss him everyday and feel like a big part of me is missing.
I wasn't fortunate to have a lot of family support when I lost Joshua, so I am so glad that you did, as that is so very important. Allow yourself to grieve now hun, and take as much time as you need. Grieving is such a different experience for everyone, it often comes in waves of lows and highs. One day you feel like digging yourself a small hole and never come out of it, and the next day you feel like there is so much to live for and so much hope. With every passing day, it does get easier, but you'll never forget your beautiful angel.
Good luck with TTC in the coming months, there is a great thread about TTC after late loss, and the girls there are so caring and understanding.
Take care hun
Beata xxx

**Just Me** · May 24th, 2009, 01:43 PM

Aries -

I am so sorry for the loss of little Alexander. I have been following your Belly Buddies group because I had been in a TTC group with some people from there and I was shocked to read your story. I am so amazed by the strength and courage you have. Thank-you for sharing your amazing journey. Be gentle with yourself

**~Trish~** · May 24th, 2009, 01:52 PM

I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious Alexander

.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

**feeb** · May 24th, 2009, 02:05 PM

so sorry to read of your loss. Thank you for sharing your painful story.

xoxoo

**Lisa** · May 24th, 2009, 02:47 PM

Once again Aries, I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious little man Alexander.

Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. Wishing you loads of love & hope for the future.

____________________________________________
DS1-15 DD-11 DS2-2

Noah Thomas- 21 Feb 2006 (20w5d)

Little Wing (Oct 2007)

**Anila** · May 24th, 2009, 05:04 PM

Hunni, i am so very sorry for your loss.
Thank you for sharing your story, Alexander is a very beautiful name, and i am sure he is very proud of his mummy, for being so brave and positive.

**westy** · May 24th, 2009, 05:22 PM

Aries,

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your little boy Alexander

**NaeNae** · May 24th, 2009, 05:23 PM

Oh Aries I am so so very sorry for the loss of little Alexander, its a very difficult thing to go through.

Sending you and yours all my love and bestest wishes.

Nae x x