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Gem - I am so sorry to have worried you. I have been a bit insular lately, and wasn't on BB for a week or so at least. All ok with baby, it was just tough for me emotionally. Seemed like so far travelled and still so far to go.... but I decided that I was the only one with the power to do something about it, so I went to the hairdresser yesterday - I was exhausted afterwards - and today I went to the counsellor and feel like have my mojo back. I am so glad I went. But I also needed to feel that baby would be ok if I went to counselling. - I had to drive myself there and back and then actually do the session. 27 weeks was "safe" enough. Although now I am back in bed with a snuggly cat snoring. I am tired but bouyant. Got to love my counsellor. The snuggly fur baby has been vomitting the past two days, so I took him to the vet this morning. He got some i/v fluids and just some advice to fast him for a bit longer to clear his system and gradually reintroduce one food - just to see if he had a GI upset r if it were something more. He was fed a small amount at 2pm and so far no pukies. Poor cat has really been quite ill, even for him, he's a frequent puker. But 6 or more times a day is just to much. No other symptoms and the other cats are fine. Hoping its just a reaction to some new food....
How are you going? It would be Jayden's EDD soon - the first week or so of July? Amelia's is 29th June, 1st anniversary. Nor sure how I feel about that anniversary. Sort of snuck p on me with this baby's preg and how tough its been these past 2 weeks. Are you planning on doing something special or just having some quiet time?
No news from Dexy.... I hope no news is good news.
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Dory, it is so so so good to hear from you, I have been getting a little worried where everyone has gone. I am so pleased to hear everything is ok. It's ok to feel anxious about your pregnancy. I am glad you have had a chat with your counsellor, and feeling good about it all again, and I am sorry to hear about your poor lil puddy cat. Hope he's feeling better soon. You have come a long way in your pregnancy, try not to stress too much, I'm sure you and bubs will be just fine. One day at a time. Do you have another scan coming up?
I'm sure Dexy has just been having internet or computer problems, or possibly just needed a break with what I put you both through a couple weeks ago. Hopefully she will be back on soon.
AFM
Yes Jaydens EDD was for July 18th, I was thinking about going down to the cemetry and releasing balloon's, getting the kids involved - but I wasn't sure if I should do that on the EDD or on the anniversary... What do you think? Isn't that sweet, I just realized his EDD is a Sunday, and he was delivered on a Sunday...
It wasn't our month again. AF came a lot earlier than I thought. Going by last month it should have been due today, but it came on Tuesday, so it's a little hard to track whats happening, but I don't feel bad about it like I did last month, I think it is because I have not got myself too worked up about it and that is possibly why AF came early, less stress and all. Last month, I don't know, I really thought it was the month, with a faint line and all the feelings... nevermind. Maybe some better luck this month.
Take Care
Danni
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Gem - thankyou for the sweet things you said. And you didn't do anything to us last month, you were the one that was doing the suffering and living each moment of it, we were just trying to give you some support.
It's hard to know what to do... you will do what feels right at the time. For me, and it wasn't until you asked that I realised I felt this way. So here goes- for me the EDD's are times for quiet private reflection - on a day that had some much promise and anticipation, but for which the reality is sadly different. They are intensely personal days. Anniversaries however are the days I got to meet my precious ones and the day my love for them truly bloomed, so they are days for more bold and more "public" statements. I suppose I feel more defined and empowered and humbled by those days and more vulnerable by the EDD's. But having said that, I didn't do anything bold for Amelia's anniversary in Feb and I have no plans for Nicholas in July nor Sophie in August. I had plans to do something in Feb but in the end it just didn't feel right or come together. But then I realised, whatever I did on the day, it was right for that day at that time.
I am sorry that this wasn't your month for the double lines.... weird that AF came early.... it's crushing to see that single line and know the opportunity for that cycle has passed, but a little exciting to realise there is the promise of the next cycle. It does get wearing though.... try for July.
I think that involving the kids somehow is a really beautiful way for them to honour their brother and also maybe their feelings about losing their brother. It's easy to forget that their little minds think about things too but often they don't have an outlet for them unless we as adults give them one and that they too experience grief and loss. It might be imprtant for them as they go through their life to have a special connection with you and Jayden and your grief. My highschool best friend's mum lost a baby and sometimes when I was with my friend, we would all go to the cemetery. Sometimes my friend and I left her Mum alone but sometimes my friend would be with her mum and I would just stand away. I always felt that they had a deep connection in the way they honoured little Tammy together. I have never asked my friend too much about Tammy, and I think it might be time I did. I do know Tammy died before my friend was born but that's it.
Have a good weekend blossom. I too am glad I went to the counsellor - I always have such a sense of peace after I leave. She sure is one special woman.
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Hi guys, good to see you all again.
Sorry I haven't been on more, just started coming on BB again after having another little break.
I'm feeling good, AF just left the house again after arriving one day late, was disappointed, but I'm moving on and up! I'm feeling so much better, happier and more in control of my life.
Still haven't made an appointment for the gyno, but I'll get around to it soon. I figure I'll give it one more month, and then I'll take the plunge.
It's hard to believe that it will have been 10 months on July 3rd since we decided to start TTC, but all the pain and heartache will be worth it when we're holding our next little bundle in our arms :) I'm so going for a VBAC next time, no epidural so that I can have a shower when I get the urge to have one, and I'm going to flat-out refuse to be induced unless there's something worng with either my health or the babies health. I WON'T go demanding an induction at 41+3 days this time round lol I hope anyway.
DS had his 18month immunisations on wednesday, he wasn't too impressed with it, but he slept for 3 hours afterwards, which is a rare occurance these days.
He got weighed and measured yesterday and has grown 8cm in the last 2 months! I knew he'd had a growth spurt! lol
Anyway, CD10 today, and my temp shot up to 36.7 this morning. Will see what it does over the next 3 days, and if it stays up then it means I've ovulated 6 days early. It's a definate possibility at the moment as every night for the past 3 nights I've been having O like pains on my left side, just inside my left hip. Hopefully we've caught the eggie this month!
Dory - OMG! 27 weeks and counting! another 11+ weeks to go! Not long at all, and yet it will feel like forever lol I remember feeling like that between 30 and 38 weeks, like time was moving in slow motion. But afterwards I was like "Where's all the time gone?" I still feel like that some days.
Sending some BIG HUGS your way darl! I Can't wait to see your happy birth announcement in 11+ weeks!
Dexy - thinking of you often darl!
Gem - Hope you're doing ok darl, sending HUGE HUGS your way!
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Hi Ladies,
Jenna it's nice to hear from you, It has been a little while. I hope things go well for you this month and we hear some good news soon. I hope your little man is doing well since his injections, their never nice are they. I remember trying to get out of it, sending someone else in, as I hate them myself and couldn't bare to put my little one through it again. I had tears in my eyes on one occasion. Oh I am such a big softie aren't I lol. Wow 8cm in 2 months, I had to go back and check that again... you little man is going to grow into a tall man by the sounds of it :D My eldest is taller than me.. eek and she is 13.75 years old, she has been taller than me since just after she turned 13 lol and my younger two... well I don't know, I always thought they were going to be tall, but apparently I am wrong... we'll wait and see, if feet have anything to do with it, my son has bigger feet than his sister who is two years older than him.
Dory thank you for sharing your thoughts about the EDD. I hope your doing ok. I talked it over with hubby and we have decided that it would be better to have a quiet night in and lighting a candle. I think maybe also because he finds it hard to remember dates at the best of time :) But I know Jayden would like a candle lit for him from the experience I had after he was born... I had never experienced anything like it before. The morning after Jayden was born, at 2am I woke up and went to the lounge room, I was crying my heart out when the lights started playing up, dimming really low until they were almost completely out, then coming back on and flickering, then dimming. The power in the kitchen remained on but the power points in the lounge went out. I woke hubby, and we sat there talking and crying all night in candle light and the power came back on at 6:05am, the same time Jayden was born the morning before.
A couple of weeks ago, it was suggested that I spend some more time with my daughter in particular talking about Jayden, we wrote a poem together which I have added to the text I wrote here on Belly Belly in the Stories of Loss section. I am now reading through a book that one of my Aunties lent to my Mum about loss, it's stories that Australian woman have shared with the Teddy Love Club about their loss. It is good to know we are not alone and that our thoughts and feelings are quite normal. I now wish that I had taken more photos of Jayden, but I didn't know if this was the right thing to do at that time. I think once the 18th has passed, our whole family will be able to look forward a little more clearly, not to say that we will move on and forget, we will never forget, but the EDD will no longer be "a date in the future..." !
Dexy I hope you are doing well love, and look forward to hear about your progress soon.
Love and Hugs to all,
Take Care
Danni
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Jenna - good to see you've got your mojo back! Hoping that "try for july" works for you. It would have been nice but an anxious time whilst your little one unexpectedly slept! Relieved and anxious that he was sleeping all at the same time. Good to see you have some plans for the next birth too.
Gem - wow, that is really poignant, about Jayden's lights in the lounge room and the timing!! It really is special.
It's so easy to have regrets when the time we had with our angels was so short and so intense and so unexpected. Don't be too hard on yourself sweetie - there is a lot to take in, in that short time. I know I got "better" at both knowing what I wanted out of those moments and achieving them after the first time. DH too. It's the irony of "experience" in this context. I wouldn't wish it upon anyone.
That is a lovely way for your DD to celebrate & remember Jayden. I will have to go look for the poem as I would be honoured to read it. I know what you mean about needing to understand whether what you're feeling is "normal". Crazy times this grief and bereavement and it's nice to know you've not gone completely over the edge. One of the reasons I went back to see the counsellor was because a few women on BB were describing how they felt and I didn't often feel that way and I was worried there was something I was missing or worse still ignoring. Apparently it's a combination of my personality and where I am at in my grieving, so it was a relief to be "normal" at least in the context of my personality.
Hiya Dexy! Thinking of you as the starter of this very lovely thread....
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Thinking of you today Dory, hope your doing well... take it easy on yourself.. big hugs!
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Gem - thanks.... today is harder... yesterday the plumber ended up coming and we got a new toilet. Not what I expected..... today, however I have my day and thoughts to myself. But it's nice. How are you doing?
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Hi Dory, I'm in a rush, so I'll make it a quick one... You know, I am starting to feel a bit better, I found that reading that book by Teddy Love Club was bringing me down... all the stories I was reading, it was like living through it all, all over again. I got 3/4 of the way through before I realised it really is not doing anything to help me. I went to the doc yesterday, after my hubby insisted I go. I found out my blood pressure was low, and I asked to have my cholesterol checked after a bizare dream I had the other night. I'm hoping that by not reading any more from that book, I can lift my spirits a little. Hopefully, get back some energy I've been missing and get rid of these headaches... ! I went to the chemist today and I asked them to check my pressure again, as the doc didn't give me an exact reading. It seems to be fine now, I picked up some tabs to help with all the symptoms I have been having, and waiting for the results for the cholesterol which will be back on friday.
Hope your doing ok... sending big hugs to you and your puddy cat, how is he the poor soul... take care
Dexy where are you hun... hope your fine, big hugs to you too!
Danni
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Gem -glad you are starting to take some action to feel better. How's your iron levels? Sometimes that can contribute to how you're feeling..... non meat sources of iron include avocados, apricots and almonds and hommus. I ended up taking Fefol after Sophie because I just felt so physically miserable all of the time and then I also went to accupuncture and took chinese herbs. Who knows what worked.... I gradually felt better and that's the main thing. But Fefol because of the iron can make people constipated... But I would rather the constipation than the extreme fatigue all the time. I have also had low BP for a while ( BP can vary widely which is why they usually check it over a period of time) - and even had to wear a BP monitor for 48 hours at a time. From memory it can make you feel dizzy? Hope your cholesterol is fine. My DH had a slightly high reading last year and went to the cardioloigst. After trying deit and exercise the levels came down and the cardiologist recommended he use proactive. It's expensive, but I use it now for everything. I should get DH to go back to the GP to get his level tested to see how he's been going. The other thing is, your symptoms can also be grief related... it's so hard. But I am glad you're taking action. It always feels better to be proative.
Cat sends his love back.... big purrs.
I know what you mean about others stories... sometimes they help you to feel no so alone and then at other times they just bring you down. My counsellor reckons that bereaved people are sponges for sadness and they have to be careful about how much sadness they expose themselves too. That is true for me. Maybe in time you can finish the book off, there is no rush. Or maybe you can just leave it unfinished, no harm in that either.
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Hi All,
Thought I would drop by and see how everyone is going... ? Anyone heard from Dexy? :? hmmm wonder where she might be...
I am feeling a lot better today, I had a sleep in for once :D I am on some (vitamins) tabs to help with energy levels and stress which seem to be helping a lot. My result came through from my blood test and everything is fine with cholesterol so I need not worry about the crazy dream I had. I am off to a yoga class shortly, so I only stopped for a quick hello, but I hope everyone is doing fine and I hope to hear back from you all again soon.... 'DEXY' ;) I look forward to hear all the pregnancy updates...
Love and Hugs to all !
Take Care,
Danni
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Gem - awesome news that you are feeling better and also for those results. Enjoy yoga - do a move/stretch for me! I haven't heard from Dexy either. I might PM her and see if I get a repl. Wish I'd gotten her contact details now..... but then again, hoping that no news is good news. BB seems to be a place where people come when they need it.
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Darlings!
Well I would love to offer a BS fluffy reason for my absence, but fact of the matter is - I have recently spent some time in a less that "average" place.
Everything thou I assure you is fine. Belly is super round & everything is perfectly to plan in that department!
I have just found myself overwhelmed (VERY UNLIKE ME) with nothing more than everyday life!?! Work, house, husband, business, DS & his activities (including a bad mototrbike accident)... Just felt like there was not a minute in the day I could just 'switch off' when I have felt the need to more than ever...
Anyways, I'm not going to rant on - I'm in a much better place now. My positivity radar is back on planet earth & I was busting to come back & see you girls!
Wow, so much has happened! Dory, your almost 30 weeks!!! How super incredible! You have done a brilliant job love - Be proud of yourself :)
& Dan you gorgeous girl - Sounds like you have had a share of mountains to climb... But have taken them in your stride! Good for you. Fingers still crossed for big news soon!
Even Jenna has dropped in! Great to see you!
Well, racing off to bed - Early start again in the morning. Just wanted you all to know I'm well & appreciate all the thoughts thrown my way. Will drop bck & see how we are all going again soon
Dex x
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MRS DEXY.... :leap:
So so good to hear from you sweety. I'm sorry you have been having a tough time. I hope your son is doing ok. Motorbike accidents are scary. We have missed you very much and it is really nice to have you back with us! 24 and a half weeks Dexy and a big round belly :clap:, thats awesome news... I can't wait to hear some more from you when you are ready. Get some rest first and we'll catch up soon... just so happy to have you back :D
Dory - How are you doing? You had that appointment the other day?
Jen - Hope your doing well too..
Love and Hugs to all,
Take care
Danni
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Dexy - awesome to hear from you and that things are going well with your bump! Sorry to hear about your DS, things like that always take up so much time and emotional energy. Glad you're back in a happier place. I know excitement plus here, 29 weeks today.
Gem - sweetie - thankyou. Got into see my Obs about 4pm in the end and all was well, a d still is. Bubs in a good possie ( ie hadn't turned/descended ...phew!) and god heartbeat. Also the cervix was tightly closed and the fluid wasn't amniotic fluid.... the Obs did a swab. The other gorgeous thing is the Obs encouraged me to call if anything was worrying me. It is a gift he has to make any concern I express valid and he takes the time to listen and investigate, if needed. We sure are a good fit. How are you?
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Hi Dory - I'm glad everything was fine with your appointment, it must be relieving to know you have an ob you can count on for everything, he sounds like he is very good, checking thoroughly, and to know you can see him any time you are concerned is just fantastic. Good to see. We need more of him in this world.
AFM - I'm having an extremely lazy day... I'm still in my pj's hehe... Been racing around here and there with the kids on holidays and all. Hubby is home sick with the flu so it's nice to have the kids playing nicely together out the back and being able to just relax without having to rush of here or there to do anything in particular. I'm heading out tonight though, I'm meeting up wih my mum so I better go and do some shopping shortly or there will be no dinner before I go.. !
Take care ladies,
Danni
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Gem -I am loving the idea of you all in your pj's! Hope DH is feeling better and didn't spread his germs. For my days at home...ie every day these days.... I get changed out of one pair of pj's and into my "day time pj's". I delude myself that I am not in pj's, but I suppose the reality is that I am . LOL. The things we do to get by. I do agree I am lucky to have such understanding obstetrician. I think he's a true gem. Of all the obs I've seen in my time, he's the best-est.
Dexy - hope things are settling down for you and you are getting your mojo back.... it's not nice to feel overwhelming and like you're not coping. Take care my friend.
AFM - all good here. The braxton hicks have become more "crampy" rather than tightenings, but still not occurring with any sort of predictablility or regularity. But still given my history, I will call the obs tomorrow just to get some reassurance about it. I did speak to him about it previously but I just want to run the change by him.
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Dory - Did I miss something somewhere? I didn't know you were having pains like that. I hope it is nothing to worry about, and I will be checking in here regularly for your reply. I send you lots of positive vibes right now and prey that all will be ok. Make sure your ob see's you right away if you have any concerns, don't wait until a "suitable time". You have every right to be in your pj's taking it easy. I'll wait to hear from you soon!
Dexy - I hope things are getting easier for you, and I look forward to hear more from you soon too.
Jen - How are things going with you?
Danni
